From the course: Banish Your Inner Critic to Unleash Creativity

Using self-compassion to silence the inner critic

From the course: Banish Your Inner Critic to Unleash Creativity

Using self-compassion to silence the inner critic

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- The last power tool is self-compassion. Now, sometimes with self-compassion, people will say, "Oh, that's not tangible. "It's all touchy-feely and emotional." But it turns out that self-compassion is incredibly powerful. First off, self-compassion is correlated with achieving mastery in your field and with optimal performance. Also, when you really start to build up your levels of self-compassion, you will develop higher standards for yourself and you'll work harder through enhanced motivation. From an emotional standpoint, self-compassion helps us to maintain our mental equilibrium. Because it activates our built-in caregiving system and encourages the release of oxytocin, it helps us to feel more secure and accepted when we're feeling inadequate. Self-compassion decreases insecurity, self-consciousness, and the tendency to compare ourself with others. It lessens self-criticism, depression, and anxiety. Self-compassion increases confidence and helps us to believe that we're worthy and capable. Yes, my friends, self-compassion can accomplish all of these things. If you feel that you don't know how to activate self-compassion, I have a self-compassion template for you. Imagine that one of your dearest friends comes to you and says: I'm having a hard time. I don't feel like the work that I do is good enough. I'm afraid that at any moment people are going to find out that I'm a fraud, and I don't think that I have anything of value to give. How would you feel towards this friend? You would probably feel sympathy and potentially empathy. Maybe you'd really listen to them and you'd give them the time and care that they needed. What kinds of comforting words and encouraging words would you say to this friend? Have this whole scenario play out in your head. Then take note of and mentally record those feelings, thoughts, and supportive messages. What you exercised in your head is compassion. So this is your template for self-compassion that will replace debilitating self-criticism. From now on, you'll treat yourself with the same kindness and care with which you would treat a friend.

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