From the course: Ninja Writing: The Four Levels of Writing Mastery

A quick proof

From the course: Ninja Writing: The Four Levels of Writing Mastery

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A quick proof

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- Okay, so, I just want to show you briefly what's possible through using these techniques, these ninja writing techniques. So, I want to show you an example, one that I've often used in my journalism training classes, and I'm gonna give you a few sentences which explain a certain situation and I want you later to try and just fix that and try and make it as beautiful and comprehensible as possible. So, let's take a look at this example. There have been attempts in recent times to convert an ugly, disused container port in Sydney. The original idea the developers had was to convert it into a precinct lined with trees by the water. Part of the plan was to have high-tech offices and also rooftop gardens in the precinct. There were also plans to include lush playing fields in the vicinity. Unfortunately, things haven't turned out so well for the developers which project they referred to in the beginning as Sydney's answer to Canary Wharf in London. That's what they had hoped to achieve. Now, what do you think about that piece of writing? Do you think that it's effective? Do you think it's easily comprehensible? Do you think it's beautiful? I certainly don't and for me, it's very boring, it's very long winded, it's very clunky. There's no rhythm to it, the punctuation actually is all wrong as well. So, I just want you to pause that and try to improve that particular piece of writing. You can pick it up in the resources section of the course if you just wanna copy and paste it, and I want you to create three sentences, three sentences out of that which are more comprehensible and more beautiful and just so that you can get a sense of where you are in this process already. Now, you can reshape the ideas, you can delete things, just you just choose and just make it into something that you think is good, and so pause the video and just have a go at that. Okay, now, I wanted to show you what I was able to do with that sentence and this is an example that I've often used. Here we go, it was supposed to be Sydney's answer to London's Canary Wharf. The plan was to convert an ugly, disused container port into a treelined waterfront precinct with high-tech offices, rooftop gardens, and lush playing fields. It hasn't turned out that way. So, I've applied a few different techniques there, some of the stuff that we're gonna learn and I want you just consider whether this version is better than the original, first of all. Is it better than what you came up with? Maybe you came up with something even stronger, and more interesting, and more beautiful, and don't worry if you were unable to really make anything much better out of that because after the end of this course you're gonna be able to create something much more dynamic and something closer to the second version of that, and so let's get on to developing these skills.

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