From the course: Ninja Writing: The Four Levels of Writing Mastery

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Sharpen sentences

Sharpen sentences

From the course: Ninja Writing: The Four Levels of Writing Mastery

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Sharpen sentences

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- Okay, a similar idea to tightening sentences, which we looked at, is sharpening sentences. It's just sort of bringing things out a bit more vividly. So you wanna get the tightening down. You also wanna get the sharpening down. And the key to this is to making things a bit more immediate than, perhaps, you had them. So let's take a look at this example: Carol went home straight after the unfurling of the national flag by the mayor. Now, this lacks immediacy, because we don't get the full picture 'til we get to the mayor. Carol went home straight after the unfurling of the national flag by the mayor. Okay, so, first of all, I want you to have a go at sharpening that to see just how you progress with that. Okay, and here's what I get. Carol went home straight after the mayor unfurled the national flag. We're getting to the point more quickly. It's kind of similar to the idea of active-passive sentences, but we're just, I just want you to focus on the concept of sharpening, because this…

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