Writing copy for a webpage

- Harrison, our owner … of the fictional company, Harrison's Helmets, … hired a writer … to put together copy for his homepage. … Right now, the homepage is all about … their flagship product, … the HH1. … The copy is okay … but it's got some editing problems. … It's far too klutzy, … and it's a bit opaque. … I can say that because I wrote it. … Here's a bit of it. … Protect your brains … with the best bicycle helmet … you can find. … The HH1 is made … of unobtainium fibers … that are pressed … into a sleek, lightweight helmet. … The shell is super hard, … resistant to cracking and compression, … and because it can be so thin and light, … it can use heavier, … more shock absorbing padding. … The result, … a helmet that's more comfortable, … safer than any other helmet … that's ever been on the market. … Even better, the HH1 uses … a new buckleless attachment system. … It's as secure as the traditional buckle, … but without the inevitable chin pinches … that come with buckles, … plus it's easier to adjust …