Getting rid of bad habits which annoy others - what might yours be? The signs to look out for. The top six failure habits are: being negative, worry, resistance to advice, talking too much, aggression, and playing the victim. We are often unaware that we are doing these things.
- Thinking about success habits. There are good ones that you can add to your life. But there are also some anti-success habits. Things that will be a barrier to success if you don't get rid of them. And, of course, the main reason why you might be behaving in a counterproductive way is that you're not aware of it. So it's important to really think hard. Do I do these things? At least maybe sometimes. So what might these failure habits be? Well, the list could be huge.
But I'd like to single out six that I think are common and really damaging. Number one is being negative. Negative thinking and negative statements. This habit will certainly hold you back. You'll reject ideas that could've been useful. You'll become discouraged when things aren't going as easy as you'd like, and you'll make other people less keen to work with you. We all know people who are negative, and I think you'd agree, they'll never get anywhere being like that. The only question is whether you sometimes can be negative in some situations.
Next is worry. Worry is a version of fear. And if you let your fears control you too much, then it will have a similar effect to being negative. You won't even start on a road toward succeeding at something. You won't take the necessary risks, and you won't ask for help when you need it. Third is resistance to advice. Trying to do it all yourself and refusing to listen to people who have good logical arguments and facts. It can even result in lack of learning and failure to gain the skills that you need.
Clearly it's much easier to succeed if you have other people to help you. And that means letting them help you. And being humble enough to ask them for their views and to really listen. Which takes me to number four which is talking too much. It's such a tempting habit to talk all the time instead of listening. But it will definitely hold your success back. It's no excuse to say, but I'm a chatty person. It's just a habit. A bad one and you can change it.
Become a great listener instead and you'll learn more and be liked more. Never let your voice be the one echoing in your head after a conversation. Fifth is being aggressive. Aggression includes everything from assuming that other people are bound to be wrong, to being impatient, rude, interrupting, criticizing, being loud and refusing to listen to or respect other people's point of view. The key is to think about the other person's position, as well as your own.
They have equal rights and they probably have good reasons for what they're saying and doing. So make it a habit to hold yourself back and give them a chance. Finally, there's playing the victim. I think that many people who are difficult are psychological games players. Particularly those who play the victim in order to manipulate others. They choose a victim role in order to ask for help or to get sympathy. Or to be able to make mistakes and get away with it.
Or to blame others who have it easier. But in the end, being a victim is not going to make them successful. But often, they're not aware of it. And they end up sabotaging their own efforts, as well as destroying their relationships with other people. So their victim position becomes a reality and they don't really know why. So if you feel that life is unfair or that you're often the victim of other people's behavior, this could be a sign that you're in a games playing loop. You can get out of it once you know that you're doing it.
So please do investigate games playing and try to eradicate this failure habit. So is there a bad habit that you have? Are you sometimes a big negative? Do you worry too much? Are you not as good as you could be about taking advice from other people? Do you tend to talk a bit much? Are you sometimes a bit aggressive? Let's call it overly assertive. And do you sometimes play games? Particularly the temptation to play the victim?