In this video, Marlene Chism helps you identify a behavior that no longer works, as well as create a new choice to replace the old behavior.
- Does throwing a fit make you look like a professional?…Does yelling and screaming at your children…make them feel safe?…Does slamming a door make your relationships any better?…Does suppression help you to get what you want?…You know the answer to these questions…is a big fat no, but if you struggle with anger issues,…you probably have a behavior or two…that no longer works for you.…Let's look at the process of giving up…a behavior that no longer works for you…and replacing the behavior with a new choice.…So here's the model.…
Number one, what's the trigger?…Number two, what's your unwanted behavior?…Number three, what's the new behavior?…First, identify the trigger.…It may be a person, or it may be something…they say or do, or it could be a circumstance…that frustrates you.…Second, describe your response,…that unwanted behavior that no longer works for you,…and third, describe the new behavior…you want to replace the old behavior with.…Let me give you a couple of examples.…One thing that used to really make me angry…
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- Acknowledging an anger problem
- Using calming techniques
- Avoiding other people's issues
- Understanding your triggers and old behaviors
- Mastering your narrative and taking control
- Setting appropriate boundaries
- Making anger work for you