You can change yourself, including any good or bad habits. Changing your scripts starts with self-talk. The circle of belief, behavior, and events. The path gets stronger each time you walk it. It's easier to change belief than behavior. Make your mantra the opposite to your beliefs. Repeat it until it comes true.
- Can a person change? Can a person change themselves if they want to? Clearly, events leave their mark on us, good or bad, and clearly our upbringing has a big effect on how we turn out, but what about if you're grownup and you want to change something about yourself in order to be more successful in life? Perhaps you want to be more patient or less shy or more organized. Are these things built in either from genetics or upbringing? Or is there still time to change them? I definitely believe that you can change them.
You can develop yourself in any direction you want to and faster than you realize. Your thoughts are mostly habits and if you can change your thoughts, then you'll change what you say and what you do, at which point you have changed and permanently once a new habit has been established. These thought habits are known as scripts which are beliefs that you have about yourself that influence your behavior without you noticing. So, for example if you have a script which says, "I'm shy," when you walk into a crowded room, you subconsciously decide how to behave.
Your brain looks up the appropriate script, "Oh yes, I'm shy," and you hide in the corner and avoid everyone. And each time you do this, the script gets stronger because it has one more bit of evidence that you're shy. There's a circle from belief to behavior to events and back to belief. Everything from I don't like dogs to I'm always late is a circle of reinforcing self-belief. Here are some anti-success beliefs which it would be good to get rid of.
I'll tell you how to change scripts in a minute, but have a look at this list and see if you have anything similar that you'd like to change. I'm not really a people person. I can't change. I always seem to be late. I wish I wasn't so disorganized. I can't change how other people treat me. The world isn't fair. I'm just an unlucky person. I always seem to screw up at the critical moments. And maybe worst of all, I'm just hopeless. So, how do you go about changing something about yourself that's stored as a script in your brain, a well-trodden, repetitive path that you always go down? The answer is that you could force yourself to go down a different path, to chat to the people at the party or to contain your short temper, but that's going to be very difficult.
It's so hard to behave differently to your scripts. A better way to break the circle is to change is the actual beliefs by what you say to yourself in your head. Say the opposite to yourself. You might call this a mantra. Say it repeatedly everyday and you can gradually start to change what's stored in your head. Imagine if you say, "I love meeting new people," or, "I remain calm even in the most difficult situations," or, "I am always organized.
"I always plan ahead." Initially, something like this might feel very odd to say because it's going against everything you know about yourself. But after a while, you get used to saying it and it starts to outvote all that history because you're becoming a different person now. Keep saying your mantra until you get bored by it. That's the first sign that you're winning. And once it's established, then it'll be self-reinforcing because the new belief will cause the new behavior which will lead to events which reinforce the new belief.
You really will be patient or on time or whatever you want to be. That's how you get started on changing your success habits. Try it, it really works. You can change yourself in any way you want to. The only question is, what's your worst script? Which one is holding you back most? And what will you have as your new mantra?