In this video, Marlene Chism show you how to identify exaggeration and escalation. Get tips for how to move past your own feelings about the other person so that you can identify specific behaviors you can help them work on.
- Suppose you're the leader…of a steering committee made up of peers.…On your committee, you have Lisa.…Lisa interrupts others when they have the floor…and she's very vocal about her opinions.…Some members hold back and may seem timid compared to Lisa.…You've tried to engage other members,…but after four meetings,…it's not getting any easier and you feel frustrated.…What would happen if you said,…Lisa, I'm sick and tired of you monopolizing every meeting.…You're way too aggressive,…you intimidate everyone on this committee…and they're all afraid to speak up because of you.…
Chances are, Lisa would feel attacked…and she would either get defensive or attack right back.…I mean, did you hear the escalation and the exaggeration?…We need to tread carefully with these two behaviors…when we're having difficult conversations.…Most of us are unaware of how often we exaggerate.…We say things like, I'm completely worn out…instead of I'm tired or I'm starving instead of I'm hungry,…and exaggeration by itself is somewhat harmless.…
- Cite the circumstances that can make a conversation difficult.
- Recall what you should know before having a difficult conversation.
- Summarize how to control the direction of a conversation.
- Describe how to use radical listening to stay present in a conversation.
- Name the magic phrase to test for resistance.
- Name healthy habits you can develop to make difficult conversations easier.