Influencing skills to get what you want. My top 8 should always be used for good purposes: Question to understand, Choice of evils, Make it easy for them, Social proof, Scarcity, Perceptual contrast, Peel the onion, I know how you feel, I felt the same way, but what I found was...
- Influencing is one of the success skills for sure, but how do you get other people to do what you want? Well, I'd like to suggest eight of my favorite influencing skills that you can choose between when you're dealing with another person and you want to persuade them to do something for you. Of course, all this assumes that you're wanting something good to be done, something that will benefit the other person too. I don't want you to use these methods to get bad things done. But anyway, here are my top eight methods for persuasion.
First, understand their position. You can't change their mind if you don't know what's in there. So, it's a good idea to ask them why they want to do what they're doing. Then you can, if necessary, ask them more questions about whether they have any evidence. And if you could show them a cheaper or faster way, would they have a look at it? That kind of thing. Next, one of my favorites is to offer them a choice of evils. For example, would they rather have it delivered a bit late or pay extra for weekend working? The great thing about this is that they feel they have to choose one of them when really there's a third option of not doing what you want at all and they have the feeling of control and you look more helpful by offering a choice, but actually, neither of the choices is great.
It's so much better than just saying, "It's going to be late," or, "You'll have to pay extra for the weekend work." Influencing tactic three is make it easy for them. Rather than giving them a problem or a problem plus a solution, why not give them a problem and solution and all of the implementation already planned? I've researched the best one, negotiated a discount, and filled in the order form. All you have to do is sign it. You're much more likely to get a yes if you've done that.
Tactic four is from Robert Cialdini's wonderful book called Influence. In fact, numbers five and six are too. And it's to use social proof. If you can show that other people, especially similar ones, are also doing the same thing, then it's got to be a good idea. It's safe. It's normal. In fact, you don't wanna get left behind. Tactic five is scarcity. If something is about to run out, you don't wanna miss it. If you can show that you have limited stock or that there are only a few dates left in your diary, you're much more likely to get a yes from the other person.
This is because there's a built-in assumption that anything scarce must be good so they should grab it while there's still some left. Tactic six is another Cialdini one. It's perceptual contrast. If you compare the cost with something very large, then the cost looks much smaller. A thousand dollars for a training course sounds like nothing when you think that it's only $50 per person and you're paying your people $30,000 a year.
It's just a more sophisticated version of not standing next to your tallest friend for a photo. Tactic seven is digging deeper or peeling the onion. The objective is to found out their real objection by asking them, "Apart from that, is there anything else?" Or, "If I could sort that problem out for you, "would you do it?" The reason why this is important is that often, people don't give you their real objection first, perhaps because they're embarrassed or they feel that you'll have an answer for it, so they try to fob you off with a false objection like, "I don't have the time," or, "It costs too much." Both of these objections are nearly always false and you can get past them to find out the real one by asking, "Apart from that, what do you think?" The final tactic number eight is feel-felt-found which is a polite way to disagree by saying, "I know how you feel.
"In fact, I felt the same way at first. "But what I found was..." So, for example you might say, "I know exactly how you feel. "I was also thinking that the last thing we should do is "change the whole system around at such a key time, "but then I started thinking about what if we leave it "and then next year we're still using the old methods? "And I worked out how much that would cost," and off you go. It's more polite than, "No, you're wrong. "Haven't you even done the sums?" So, those are my top eight influencing tactics.
You might want to look at my list again and think about something that you're wanting someone else to do for you and which one would work best for you in that situation.