Chemistry and connection is not just important in your love life. Finding similarities to your protégé are essential to the growing relationship. Watch this video to learn ways to find similarities, and build protégé chemistry.
- Before we talk about mentoring, I want you to take a moment and think about the most amazing date you've ever been on. Probably what made that date so amazing was not the walk on the beach or bottle of wine you shared, but the chemistry you felt with that other person. In fact, much of what we know about how to develop chemistry in professional relationships borrows from research from interpersonal relationships.
Let's examine how you can develop chemistry in an authentic and professional way with your protege. The Law of Similarity is the idea that people like and attribute more positive characteristics to those they think are very similar to themselves. At first, people notice surface-level similarity. For example, race or gender or where you went to school all matter to people at first. This can be bad because surface-level similarity can really distort our perceptions of one another.
However, here is a very exciting news from research. As people get to know each other, their perceptions of deep-level similarity become way more important than surface-level similarity. Deep-level similarity refers to similarity in ways that cannot immediately be seen, like personality, values, goals, world views, and ethics. In other words, mentors and proteges who see themselves as similar to each other in ways that are deep and meaningful have a high degree of liking and chemistry with each other.
So applying this research, here are three ways to help you build chemistry with your protege. One, start with surface-level similarity. Think about how great if feels when you go to a networking event and you find out you have something in common. Maybe you have a conversation goes something like this, so my first job out of college was at McDonald's in Fresno. And the person you're speaking with says, no way! I grew up in Fresno too. True story.
In the professional setting, I highly recommend that you establish surface-level similarity by using LinkedIn as a tool. So check out each other's profiles and figure out what you have in common on the surface. Two, discover your deep-level similarities. A great place to start is using the Relationship Development Plan. This is provided in the Exercise Files and can help you probe for deep similarities into what really matters, like personalities, values and goals.
Three, be emotionally contagious in a positive way. Research proves that emotions are highly contagious. Proteges and mentors can catch emotions from each other, both positive and negative. Research also shows that liking is highly correlated with positivity, so if you wanna increase the liking between you and your protege, be intentionally positive, so they can catch your positivity. Remember, chemistry might feel like magic, but it can be improved if you're willing to work on it.
She also offers guidance on building trust and chemistry, providing feedback, and helping your protégé make critical career and work decisions and become resilient in the face of challenges. She also helps you address common obstacles, including a protégé that fails to meet expectations or violates trust, and explains how to gracefully exit the relationship.
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- Building a relationship with your protégé
- Talking and listening with impact
- Giving feedback
- Developing trust
- Setting goals
- Developing your protégé's skills
- Managing mentoring relationships
- Overcoming common obstacles
- How to make time for mentoring