The consequences of harsh self-criticism

- [Instructor] Link four of nine. - [Narrator] Imagine you and your friend are walking down an icy street when all of a sudden she slips and falls to the ground, how would you respond? You probably wouldn't stand there with your arms folded saying, wow, you're such a useless idiot, you can't even walk right. That would be a very unkind, unwarranted and unhelpful way of responding to someone else's misfortune. And yet, for those of us who are highly self-critical, that's how we routinely respond to our own setbacks and suffering. Let's face it, our vicious self-criticism is highly counterproductive. That becomes obvious when we imagine speaking this way to other people. And it becomes even more self-evident if we imagine doing it over and over again to someone who take our words to heart, such as a child. Here, we can really see our criticism for what it is, a form of self abuse. - [Instructor] They key message here is harsh self-criticism amounts to self abuse, which can have serious longterm consequences. - [Narrator] To see why, imagine how a child would react if she kept being told she was useless, good for nothing, or couldn't do anything right. In the long run, these sorts of comments would crush her spirit, they'd diminish her sense of self-worth, and they'd make her constantly afraid of messing up or falling short of perfection. The same is true of us. And if that sounds like a road to depression, anxiety, insecurity, and overall dissatisfaction with life, that's precisely what it is. Research shows that self-criticism can lead to all of these problems. It can also undermine our self-efficacy beliefs, our beliefs about our ability to accomplish things in life. Dozens of studies demonstrate that these beliefs are directly related to our actual ability to accomplish things. It might sound like a cliche, but it's true. The more we believe in ourselves, the more we're able to achieve our goals. Now add to that the more immediate effects of self-criticism that we previously looked at. Remember how the fear of it can make us distracted, tense and prone to procrastination and self-handicapping? If we put all of these pieces of the puzzle together, the picture becomes clear. Not only can self-criticism lead us to develop serious mental health issues, it can also undermine our ability to do our best, the very thing that it supposedly encourages us to do. In other words, self-criticism fails to help us even by its own standards. Even if we just wanted to improve ourselves, it's a misguided strategy that we'd be better off without.