Women and body language

- Do you communicate clearly? Do you say what you mean? Well, if so that's terrific. Choosing the right words can make you a polished communicator. But while words are important, they convey about 7% of your message. The rest is communicated nonverbally through your tone and body. Your words engage people logically, but their response to your nonverbal signals is often subconscious and emotionally meaningful. To paraphrase Maya Angelou, people will forget what you said, but people will never forget how you made them feel. So how does your nonverbal behavior make people feel? Here are a few things to consider to make sure your nonverbal communication fits the image you want to portray. First, think about how you physically approach a conversation. It's important not to startle people. Men react more calmly when you move towards them from the side since they can find immediate face-to-face contact aggressive. But women want to see who's coming towards them and feel safer when approached from the front. So start your talk off on the right foot. Second, be careful with touch, particularly if you're a female boss. Women are more likely than men to touch someone's arm or offer a hug as a way to show support. With someone you know well, that's usually fine. But regardless of gender, touch from a supervisor can carry an unintended message of dominance. Most people feel uncomfortable being touched by someone of higher status because it feels awkward to say no. Third, control your timing. You know your handshake should be firm and confident, but keep it brief. A handshake lasting more than two seconds will usually stop any verbal conversation as your partner tries to figure out what to do. Long eye contact has the same effect. Looking someone in the eye once in a while to show you're listening is a terrific communication strategy. Staring for too long makes things uncomfortable. So look just long enough to notice their eye color. That's usually the right amount of time to make a connection. Fourth, show that you're confident. Your confidence calms others. When you're nervous, people pick up on it and feel anxious too. If you fidget or play with your watch, it's hard for someone to relax and pay attention to what you're saying. So breathe deeply. Sit up straight and relatively still and show genuine interest in what's happening in the room. As a bonus, engaging with or really listening to someone else is a great way to calm your own nerves. Finally, make sure you nonverbally support your message. That's how people know they can trust you. Go ahead and gesture when you're excited. Studies show that audiences view people who use appropriate gestures as warm, agreeable and authentic. On the other hand, be careful not to smile if the situation calls for serious. Your listener thinks you're either lying or uncertain when your facial expressions don't match your message. So by all means, craft your messages carefully. Knowing the words you plan to communicate makes you more confident and poised. But when you also support your words with strong nonverbal messages, you'll make your audience more relaxed and confident and they'll remember positively how you made them feel.