In this video, consider when the right time to speak up is. Is it best to speak up in the moment or behind a closed door? Additionally, learn when to talk to the target about stepping in for them.
- In my face-to-face workshops, the question of when to use upstander tactics always comes up. Should you do it in the moment, even if in front of others? Or should you wait until you're behind closed doors? You'll have to decide what works for you personally, as well as what's appropriate for each individual situation, but I have some food for thought for you to consider. So what if you don't say anything in the moment? What message are you sending to the rest of the group? Your message is that you will tolerate the behavior. Yes, you could talk to the person later, but the profound impact could be lost for the individual as well as the group. How will the group know you stood up against the behavior? And if you're concerned about your safety because this person really is a bully or worse, it's certainly safer to speak up in a team meeting anyway. Finally, if you speak up in the meeting, it's more likely that others will, too. Even better, if you are aware others in the meeting feel the same way you do about the behavior, you can ask them to speak up, too. Really, truly, for sure, without a doubt, there is power in numbers. On the flip side, if you think it might be better to call people out in private, I suggest that's only best if you're a manager trying to help a subordinate change their behavior. Then the conversation becomes a performance conversation that yes, should be in private. Another time private call-outs are better is when there's a client in the room and other similar situations. But honestly, if the goal is to create an upstander culture, then upstanding in front of others is the better choice. I've also heard people in my trainings say that they think it's important to ask the person at the receiving end of the bad behavior how they feel and if that person wants help. In other words, some people think you should get permission from the recipient before you step in. After all, this is between them, right? Wrong, if you're aware of the behavior and even witnessing it, then it's not between them at all. You're involved whether you want to be or not. You're being affected by this behavior, and that means you have the right to speak up and take action, and I encourage you to do that. This is your workplace, too, and you spend eight, 10 or 12 hours there each day, and you have the right to work in a healthy work environment, period.
- Creating an upstander culture
- Setting behavioral standards
- Understanding your role as an upstander
- Overcoming fear and uncertainty
- Leveraging tools and scripts for standing up