Reposition interactional goals in a broader sense to include long-term objectives in order to make behavior more relationally appropriate in this video.
- Marshall Goldsmith poses the following scenario as a personal quiz that many leaders fail. See where you come out. You and your spouse, partner, or significant other are going out to dinner. This night you really want to go to a particular restaurant. Your partner wants to go to a different one and you both feel strongly. You argue back and forth but you agree to go to your partner's choice, and it turns out that the food is awful. Here are two options. Option A, complain to your partner and say, "This could have been avoided if you listened to me, "the brilliant one." Or option B, don't complain, eat the food, enjoy being with your partner and have a nice evening. We know the right answer is B, but how many of us are really tempted to do option A? I hope you do better than I did. When I first heard Marshall give this scenario years ago it hit me hard because I recently did a major option A with my girlfriend at the time. Option A's a bad choice because with your partner there's always more at stake than being right or winning in the moment. We know this, it's clear with loved ones, but when you think about it, there's also more at stake than near term results in almost of all of your influence attempts. Of course results are important, tasks completed, projects approved, promotions gained, and sales achieved. Results stand out, they get attention, but more visible doesn't always mean more important. The relationship impact isn't always evident but it's crucial and it's affected by how you influence. Do people come away from interacting with you glad they're influenced, or do they feel badly about it? Does their trust and confidence in you go up or down? Did you strengthen or detract from your relationship with the person? It's one or the other and either way it will affect your future outcomes. Same goes for your reputation. Warren Buffett said, "It takes 20 years "to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. "If you think about that, you'll do things differently." After you try to influence people, what do they say to others about you? Now don't get me wrong, it's great to reach for great results, but if you damage your relationships and reputation people will be less willing to support you and might even work to undermine you. This is why the best influencers think about long term implications even in their short term actions. They drive for results with vigor, and they care just as vigorously about how they get those results. In every influence interaction, don't just go for results, strive also to strengthen your relationships and reputation. Here's a daily exercise to help you keep those two easily overlooked Rs front and center at all times. Call it the R&R Test, before, during, and after your interactions. Before you find yourself interacting with another person or group ask, "How can I strive to build relationships "and create a basis for a positive reputation "in this interaction?" During your interaction, ensure your interactions meet these standards. If what I'm about to say or do were being recorded on video and audio, would I be proud to have others, who's opinions matter to me, see the recording? And after your interaction, review your behaviors, and ask yourself, "Did I conduct myself "with integrity, clarity, and respect? "Did my presence leave others better off "after dealing with me than they were before? "Do I need to follow up on any misunderstandings, "mistakes, or missed opportunities?" Do the R&R Test for better results today, and much stronger, sustainable, positive influences tomorrow and beyond.
- Name a feeling that might inhibit you from inspiration-based influence.
- Explain how to most appropriately balance short-term and long-term results.
- Assess why “pains and gains” is a powerful motivator.
- List the steps of the advice influence technique.
- Identify the first thing you do when using social proof.