Not everyone you problem-solve with will be skilled in collaborative strategies, and your conflict partner may take a more defensive or competitive approach. This video focuses on how to recognize contentious tactics so you can change the conversation.
- When we feel we haven't been treated fairly,…or we think our needs are being ignored, we react.…We say, ouch.…And if we're in a reactive frame of mind,…we often resort to contentious tactics,…trying to resolve conflict through manipulation,…or holding our ground to prove we're right,…and our conflict partner is wrong.…First on that list is ingratiation.…Getting what we want through sweet talk, or flattery,…or because we're just so charming.…
It might sound like I know I said I'd put the data…into the spreadsheet by today,…but you're so much more skilled at it than I am.…That flattery might work once or twice,…but over time it will diminish your working relationships.…Next is promises, this is getting what you want now…by agreeing to do something later.…You might promise to take someone to lunch…in return for covering for your shift.…This is actually a really useful tactic,…if it's employed for mutual gain.…
But like ingratiation, overusing it…can cobble away at goodwill, and lead to future conflict.…Persuasive argumentation is the use of logic and reason…
- Define the "Name, Blame, Claim" cycle.
- Distinguish different types of conflict styles.
- Recognize contentious tactics.
- Identify issues and needs.
- Explain how to reframe.
- Increase conflict capacity.