This course was created by Pete Mockaitis of How to Be Awesome at Your Job. We are pleased to offer this training in our library.
Skill Level Beginner
- [Narrator] This is an audio course. No need to watch, just listen. Welcome to the latest edition to LinkedIn Learning: podcasts. We've curated some of the best business podcasts and made them even easier to listen to. Each episode is split into sections. Use the links in the contents area to skip to whichever section you like. We're always looking for new ways to help you learn, and we'd appreciate your feedback. Thanks for listening. - [Host] Well, I'm excited. It sounds like you followed some of the advice in your book Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life. So tell me, just maybe to get us going, what's perhaps the most surprising and fascinating discovery that you made as you were researching and putting this one together? - [Laura] Well, I would say the most fascinating discovery that I made is that everybody, regardless of how externally happy they seem, feels like something's missing. I was really surprised at how broad the range was for the book. I knew that it... I knew that it made sense because it made sense to me, and I'd been talking about this advice that's in the book for the last 20 years, but I was giving a talk at a conference, a retreat, that is specifically for young women of color that work in the education space, millennials working in the education space, and I'm... It's a conference that's run, a retreat that's run by a friend of mine, and I'm the only Caucasian person that she's had come speak at this conference because she knows that I hold the space sacred. And I was giving my usual talk about how do you find your leadership voice, and how do you find confidence, and somebody asked me a question and I said, "Let me answer that by telling you a little bit about this book that I'm writing." And I gave the framework for the book, and at the end of it, these 60 women in this room, these millennial women of color, stood up and gave me a standing ovation, the first standing ovation of my life. And I was so shocked by that, that I was like, "Maybe there's something to it." And then I started using this framework in my executive coaching practice where I was talking to middle-aged white guys, and stay-at-home moms, and boomers that are looking for the next encore in their retirement. And I started hearing people saying things like, "I feel like you wrote this just for me." The most surprising thing to me was how universal the idea of feeling like we're all limited by everybody else's expectations and everybody else's idea of success, and how much people felt relieved to be unburdened by that. - [Host] Beautiful. Okay. That's quite a statement there, so let's hear it again. So we all universally tend to feel limited by other's expectations, and what? - [Laura] Everybody assigns ideas to us, right? We're all walking around with a scorecard in our pocket. Marry the right person, go to the right college, get the right job, buy the right house. And who's defining what the right whatever is? And so we're all walking around with this scorecard of other people's ideas, other people's expectations of success. And when we do that, we're so limited by everybody else's ideas, by their expectations, by their definitions, frankly by their anxiety, by their concerns, by their worry, that we become limited. And it's in these limits that we lose ourselves. - [Host] Well, yeah. It's funny. I already feel a little bit liberated just hearing like, "Hey, you know what? Yeah. Why, why do I care at all what some of these people think about this or that?" (chuckles) - [Laura] Yeah. So, I mean... Where did you get your scorecard from, right? For me, when I was in 4th grade a teacher said, "You're a pretty argumentative young woman. You should be a lawyer." And of course I told her she was wrong, but I... (chuckles) But I then spent the next 15 years creating an educational path that put me towards being a lawyer. And when I... When I got to law school and said, "I actually hate this. I'm in totally the wrong place," and I wanted to drop out. I felt like I was failing, because this definition of what success would be, go to law school, become a lawyer, suddenly wasn't right for me. And I'd never stopped to think, "Well, is it actually something I care about?" And what's worse is that we're asked to pick these paths. We're asked to pick the direction, the college, the major, the career, the trade, whatever it is that we're doing, we're asked to pick these things when we're 16, 17, 18 years old. And you know what you don't have when you're 16, 17, 18 years old? A frontal lobe. (chuckles) - [Host] I was going to say, "Boy, there's lots of things." - [Laura] Right. - [Host] Perspective. A frontal lobe, all right. - [Laura] Right. Yeah. You don't have perspective. You don't have wisdom. You don't have knowledge. You don't have, you don't have reference. You don't have any of those things. But most importantly, you don't have a frontal lobe, and the frontal lobe is the part of your brain that determines logical decision-making. So we're asked to make a decision about who we are and what we want to be when A, we don't even really know ourselves, and B, we literally don't have the capacity (chuckles) to make this decision.