Listen with intention and openness

- At the beginning. I usually ask people on a scale of 1 to 10, or in individual sessions now. On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it that you and Sally be able to work together for example. And let's call the other person Lauren. Lauren says, "Well, it's 10. We have to be able to work together." I said, "How likely do you think it is that the conflict is going to get resolved that we're working on together?" Zero? You know, I said, okay, let's take a look at how willing are you to put yourself into this fully? And they'll say maybe I'm a 10, I'm willing to do this. I just don't think there's any possibility. So one of the ones that I worked on with a large insurance company, that's the way it started. They said that they wanted to work on it that it was important that they resolve it. And yet they didn't think there was any chance because it had been going on so long. And that's one of the problems is that…