From the course: Becoming a Manager Your Team Loves

Hardball vs. softball

From the course: Becoming a Manager Your Team Loves

Start my 1-month free trial

Hardball vs. softball

“

- Over the last 30 years as a manager, I've promoted innumerable people into their first role as supervisor, oftentimes supervising those that they had been friends with and coworkers with just days before. Too often, new supervisors go to their extremes in their struggles to manage the shift in these relationships. They may play hardball and feel like they need to bring the hammer down, be rigid and unemotional, and following all the rules as they are written to make sure everyone knows that they are now a boss and not a friend. Some play softball and worry more about maintaining their friendships than they do about organizational rules and goals. I'm here to tell you that you don't have to do either. There is a middle ground that I've helped others through and I can help you through it, as well. The primary thing is to realize that being the boss is literally your job and that you need to make that your priority. If you allow concern for relationships to overshadow following the rules and doing what you should for the organization, you risk being taken advantage of by your employees and losing their respect and to almost guarantee losing your employer's confidence. But you can't ignore the relationship. Your team's ability to see you as a supervisor is not going to happen overnight. They're likely struggling with the changes just as you are. If you remove emotion and ignore your relationship with them, you again risk losing their respect. It is not enough to recognize that you can't be too hard or too soft. You have to find a balance through action. The easiest way to help you and your team navigate these new relationships is by explicitly setting expectations and boundaries. When you talk to people and say, "All right, so here's the boundaries. "Here is how I'm going to manage and here's why," you're able to more effectively control the relationship. You have to be able to say, "Listen, I know that we're friends, but this is my job now." Clearly note for them when you are speaking as their boss and when you're speaking as their friend and recognize that when at work, you're usually speaking from the role of boss. The final piece that will help you navigate this is to recognize that not everybody's going to get it. And to be honest, it kind of sucks that you will potentially lose some friends or people that you thought were friends. But at the end of the day, those people that are truly your friends are going to understand and are going to support you. Those that don't will have to find their own way to manage. You cannot make them see you different. You can only manage yourself and your own behavior in ways that build trust. It's your turn. Think about your team. Who do you need to talk to about the expectations they have of your relationship? Where are you needing to find balance between hardball and softball? When you find that sweet spot that works for you, you're going to be more respected by your team and a more effective manager.

Contents