Getting a commitment

- So, how would Angelie get a commitment from Alice? How could she do it? Imagine that they had the conversation, as they did. They finish the conversation, and Alice says, "Okay, you know, I'm going "to organize my pile alphabetically." It would be a mistake for Angelie to say, "thank you," and leave, because that's not a commitment. That's a statement of purpose, but not a commitment. How do you turn that into a commitment? Well, I would say, "thank you, Alice, I appreciate that. "By when will you have this done?" If you hear any hesitation in Alice's voice, is that she didn't realize that this was a commitment. That hesitation is the best diagnostic that, you know, she wasn't committing, she was just saying something to get through the situation. So, I would say, "by when will you have it done?" And she would have to give me a date. I don't know, next week. "Okay, so next Friday, you and I will sit together, "and look at the alphabetized pile, "and check how that is working for you." And she would have, at that point, she would say, "Yeah." Another option is that she would say, "Well, I'll try to do it as soon as possible." That's not a commitment. There's no try. There's do or not do, so commit or not commit. And when she said try, say, "Okay, I know you'll try, "but by when can I have a commitment from you? "I want a promise that by a certain date, "you will have this alphabetized, "so we can review how it's working. "What's the date? "Could be next week, could be a month, "but let's start with a date, "but you give me a date." You see, it's really pushing the point, until there's a concrete deliverable at a concrete moment in time. Simply finishing the conversation with, "I'll do my best," or, "I'll try," or, "Okay, I'll see what I can do." Those are non-committal phrases, which should raise a red-flag for you. When you are negotiating with a person, and you get to an agreement, push for the commitment.