Get started now: Figure out your goal and what you need to ask for

- [Instructor] Get started now figuring out what you need and asking for it. Whatever path you're on, one thing is certain: learning to ask for what you need, whether it's advice, mentorship, information, materials, referrals, funds, or just a friendly ear, will help you get closer to your goal. Remember, the things we need are often much more attainable than we think, and people are generally much more generous with their help than we tend to believe. And yet, even once we recognize this, we still struggle. Why? Sometimes the problem is that we don't know exactly what we need. We might be aware that we're stuck or stalled, but unsure what it would take to get moving again or pick up speed. For example, when a colleague of mine relocated from New York to San Francisco for a new job, he left a community of friends and family for one where he knew nobody. His new job kept him busy, but he felt lonely and didn't know what to do about it, or what kind of help to ask for. Other times, we might know exactly what we need, but have no idea who to ask for these things. And sometimes we know what we need and who can give it to us, but simply aren't sure how to articulate the request in a powerful way. I offer a simple step-by-step process to help you figure out what to ask for, who to ask, and how to ask in a way that will set you up for a yes. Underlying these methods, however, is the recognition that asking for what you need is a privilege, not a right. That means making the commitment to give help as well as to seek and accept it. Determining your goals and needs. Begin with the end in mind. By that, I mean, before you can determine your needs, you first have to understand what you are trying to accomplish or achieve. Having meaningful goals isn't just useful when it comes to identify needs. It's actually a prescription for satisfaction and happiness in life. Goals provide structure and meaning, purpose and control. Making progress towards meaningful goals gives you confidence, and pursuing goals often requires you to engage other people and develop positive relationships, which produce happiness. But not all goals are created equal. The ones most likely to bring you happiness are intrinsic, meaning you'll find them inherently interesting, inspiring, and energizing, rather than as simply a means to an end. And they are authentic, meaning that they represent your passions, interests, strengths, and values, rather than being goals that were chosen for you by your parents, by peer pressure, by your boss, by some felt sense of what you ought to do. My MBA students office struggle with staying true to their authentic goals when they recruit for jobs. Consider for example, Lauren, a business student who excelled at economics and finance. As graduation day approached, she was feeling peer-pressured to take a job on Wall Street, even though she wanted to do nonprofit work. After two unhappy years at a financial firm, however, she got back on track and left to take a low-paying job at a nonprofit in Washington, DC. Eventually, she returned to school, earned a master's degree in public policy, and is now happily employed as a manager at Teach for America. It's easy to see how reconnecting with our authentic goals can motivate us to do whatever it takes to attain them. There will be times, however, when you will have to pursue goals that don't feel authentic or that you don't feel committed to. These may be part of your formal job description or something that your boss hands you. When this happens, it's helpful to keep the endgame in mind. That is what you want to accomplish longterm. Perhaps a longterm goal is promotion to a senior position in the company. If successfully completing the less-than-energizing project your boss dumps on your desk will help you get there, then you can see the assigned goal in a new light, a stepping stone on the path to promotion. From this perspective, the assigned goal is easier to own because you are committed to the longterm goal you freely chose, promotion to a senior position in the company. What are the most meaningful goals in your life right now? What do you need to achieve them? You may know your answer immediately. If not, here are exercises that will help you figure out what your goals are and what you need to get there. You may want to try the Quick Start method first and go from there. Exercise One: Quick Start Method. Consider and complete these five sentence starters. If you get stuck on one, just move to the next. One, I'm currently working on, and I could use help to... Two, one of my urgent tasks is to, and I need to... Three, I am struggling to, and I would benefit from... Four, one of the biggest challenges in my life is to, and I need advice on... Five, my biggest hope is to, and I need... Chris White, Managing Director of the Center for Positive Organizations, use this Quick Start method as he was making his transition to the private sector after seven-plus successful years leading and growing the center. I am currently working on building a consulting practice, he wrote. And I could use help to decide on the best business structure as it grows. Specifically, I could use help figuring out the pros and cons of a partnership LLC, limited liability company, S corporation, or a C corporation. Once he'd identified that need, he realized that he should ask a few successful entrepreneurs to share their insights and also consult an accountant for tax advice and a lawyer for legal guidance. Exercise Two: Articulating Your Goals. Pick a category that feels most urgent to you, whether it's your job, career, business, health, fitness, family, spiritual, religion, or community. Write down your most important goal in that area and follow these easy steps. Describe the goal. Provide concrete details about what you are working toward and be sure to include why the goal is meaningful and important to you. For example, when Larry Freed, CEO of our company Give and Take Inc., did this exercise, he chose business as his category and develop metrics for knowledge collaboration as his goal. Here's how Larry described that goal. "You cannot manage what you do not measure. We want to develop a set of metrics that enable people to measure the strength in knowledge collaboration at an individual level, team level and organizational level. The reason why this is important is that it will enable our clients to improve knowledge collaboration in their organizations and for us to demonstrate the value of Give a Toss." In guiding people through this goal articulation exercise, I've noticed that the why is often left out. When people state a goal like "grow my business" or "spend more time with my spouse or partner," people think that the why goes without saying, but the truth is that sometimes even we don't know what our why is until we try to articulate it. Reflecting on the why is critical because it provides clarity about the goal, and it may remind you of why the goal is so meaningful and important, which not only becomes a source of energy and motivation for you; it also helps to energize and excite those you share it with. By the same token, reflection might help you realize a goal isn't that authentic to you after all and that the best course of action is to abandon it. Date the goal. Pick a specific time by which you hope to attain or accomplish your goal. Even if the data is just a wish or a best-case scenario, writing it down forces you to think through the process. You may discover that the goal would be far less daunting if broken up into steps or intermediate goals. Larry picked May 1, which was 12 weeks from the date he completed the goal worksheet. This was an ambitious but doable timeframe. Choose a metric. Finally, you need a metric, an objective measure that will tell you clearly whether you've accomplished your goal by the date you specified. Otherwise, it's like running a race without a finish line. You never know if you won or not. Larry specified two related metrics for his goal: to have created a system of measurement for Give a Toss that, A, works across different sizes and types of organizations; and, B, can provide value to our clients by allowing them to benchmark their organizations as compared to others. Determine your needs. Once you have named, described, dated, and provided a metric for your goal, the next step is to determine what resources you need to achieve or make meaningful progress toward it. For example, Larry needed to recruit a variety of organizations to use Give a Toss so that he would have a large and diverse dataset with which to develop the Give a Toss metric. He specified the number, types, and sizes of the organizations he would later ask to participate. It's worth noting here that resources come in many forms, from the tangible, like a material resource or a loan, to the intangible, like a referral or introduction to someone. What you need depends on what you are trying to accomplish.