Fred and John: Moving from victim to player

- Let's see how John and I discuss changing from a victim perspective to being a player. What would you like to do? What would closure mean when you say, "I want to resolve this issue, "so it's not alive anymore." Because there are sick people out there. So we can't prevent that and there are sick systems out there. So, aspiring to not have it is a good thing but I like to just negotiate what can we do because I wish I could say, "Let's work for world without injustice." But there's nothing to learn. We need something a little more immediate. - I would have handled it better if I was better equipped - [Guy In Blue] Yes, yes, okay. - With the proper resources and response to those scenarios because as an employee and you have person that is two, three layers above you acting in this manner. It puts you in some, in a very difficult place and how you respond? - Totally, totally. The natural thing for anybody to do in your situation is to blame the other person because they deserve to be blamed. The are doing something unjust, unfair, wrong. So, it's the natural attitude. And we are victimized but the perspective of the victim which blames the other hides the fact that you can prepare yourself to respond. You were targeted by a person in authority supported by a system that did not curtail his attack or stop it. Under those conditions, anybody would be justify them feeling victimized. And you are and it's okay. But you're saying, "Okay, I can't stop that. "But I can respond better to that." That is the beginning of resolution. It's the sense of, "I responded properly, I'm proud of myself "because I'm untouched." - You know, it brings all back to why I'm here, right? - Yeah. - The whole thing is, it could happen again. - How do we live life with that knowledge happily? Because we know something, there's something in our spirits that know that even though those things can happen, life is happening now. And we live today and we live with pride and we live with joy, and it's this moment. That is the only antidote. Not the childish fantasy, "Oh, it's not going to happen. "It's always going to be all right." It's not going to be all right. But in a sense, that's what I call being a player. Being a player is I'm in the game. I'm making the best every moment I can given the situations. What will happen tomorrow? I don't know but I trust myself to respond. But the solution is not a world in which that doesn't happen. The solution is a world in which you feel equipped to deal with that. You did deal with that incredibly well given the conditions. You learned your lesson. You have the pride and you have the knowledge. Just lose the bad taste. There's nothing left. It's just let go. I mean you're used to the bad taste, you've been carrying for so long. It's like an old friend but it's heavy, it's just, it's time maybe to part ways.