From the course: Empathy at Work
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Empathy and emotional intelligence
- Let me share a little about my teenage years with you. I was insecure, questions racing through my mind all the time. What did my classmates think about how I was dressed? Would I be cool if I joined that club? Did people like me? I was stressed and frankly, I was pretty miserable. I didn't connect with people in high school and I don't have close friends from those years. As I grew older, I learned I'd been experiencing what psychologists call the spotlight effect. That's our tendency to overestimate how much other people notice us. It comes from being overly self-conscious and unable to see the world through anyone's eyes but yours. And since you're in the spotlight in your own mind, you assume that's also true for everyone else. I was pretty good at knowing that I thought and controlling my behavior and reactions to try to fit in. But despite all that introspection, I didn't connect with other people. I was…
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