Before engaging in a conflict resolution conversation, both parties are prone to making assumptions and telling stories that support their point of view. This video focuses on the second preparation step in the resolution roadmap: distinguishing fact from fiction.
- In a conflict there are two things operating,…one is what actually happened…and two is how people interpret what happened.…Said another way, it's facts versus fiction.…And distinguishing between the two…is the second set on the resolution roadmap,…our framework for solving everyday problems.…Now let's take a look at a conflict between Mark and Lilly.…First the facts, Mark stays up all night…finishing a draft of a proposal…and gives it to Lilly, his boss.…
A few hours later Lilly hands the proposal back to Mark…with red pen edits on every section and every page.…Those are the facts, that's what happened.…Now for the fiction.…Mark starts seething about Lilly's critique…and blurts out, you never appreciate any of the work I do.…If you did, you wouldn't be so hypercritical.…This is the name, blame, claim cycle in action.…Something happens, your feelings get the best of you,…you tell a story about why it happened,…and you react by saying something…that places blame on the other person,…and you're now in the middle of a full-blown argument.…
- Define the "Name, Blame, Claim" cycle.
- Distinguish different types of conflict styles.
- Recognize contentious tactics.
- Identify issues and needs.
- Explain how to reframe.
- Increase conflict capacity.