Deliver the message with the right person

- [Brian] Authority tells us that we defer to people that we view as more wise or experts when we're making decisions. I mean, if we're standing around at a cocktail party and we're all complaining about taxes, and then somebody says, "Well, I'm a CPA." and they start talking, we give that more weight because we know that person knows far more about taxes than we probably do. A funny story that happened quite a number of years ago, my wife is a really, really good golfer. And when I say really good, she's a single-digit handicap, usually shoots in the upper 70s, so she's very, very good. I came home from a sales training event, and I told her about a golf example that I had used during the training. A few weeks later, she's reading a book and she says, "Listen to what Corey Pavan says." For those of who you are listening, Corey Pavan won the US Open in the early '90s, and he finished in the top five in all of the major golf championships. She reads this paragraph, Pete, and it's almost verbatim what I said. So, of course I had to let her know that. I said, "Jane, I told you that." She said, "No, you didn't." I said, "Yeah, a couple of weeks ago. Remember I came home from the training event?" "No." I go, "Come on. I mean, we were sitting right here having dinner. You don't..." And she had no recollection that I had told her that. So, finally I threw my hands up and I go, "Oh, I guess if Corey Pavan says it, it's true, but when I say it, it's not." But here's the reality. Because he was a golf pro and won the US Open, who would you believe, Corey Pavan or Brian Aham, trainer? It's a funny story, but it really drives home the point. Two people can say exactly the same thing. The person who is viewed as an expert, believed far more than the person who has no credibility at all in that area and yet it can be every bit as true, the statement that's made from both people. So, it's really, really important that people do what they can to get their expertise in front of other people. - [Pete] And now I'm intrigued. Do we think that this is the explanation for the mysterious phenomenon in a meeting, one person says something and it gets no response, and another person says just about the same thing, and they're all like, "Yes, yes." and sort of all behind there. Do we think this is primarily driven by authority or are there some other elements that may explain this situation? - [Brian] There could certainly be some liking, that people might say, "Oh yeah, you know, we love Joe." and when Joe says something, everybody likes that. But it probably leans more on the authority thing. In my corporate job when I was reporting at one point to the vice president of sales, there were times when he would come to me and he'd say, "You know, I'd like you to draft this and then send it to these people." And I'd say, "I will draft it, but I would like you to send it." because coming from the vice president of sales, it will mean a lot more than coming from me. And he knew this stuff well, too. And he's like, "You're right." And so, I had the satisfaction of knowing that the messaging was coming from me. I was building my skill to help me write the book and do other things, but I was humble enough to say, "The goal here is to move the ball forward, move the agenda forward for the company. And my saying the very same thing won't help it as much as you, so I will save you time, craft the message. And together we will make this thing happen." - [Pete] Yes, that's so dead on. And this reminds me of just recently, I started up a new training program with a group we were running through the Enhanced Thinking & Collaboration Program. And so, there's some pre-work to be done, and the majority of folks had not yet done it. I mean, I have all the participants' email addresses, but they haven't met me yet. So, I proposed that exact same thing. It's like, "Hey, here's the rundown of who has and has not yet finished the pre-work. I'd love to have them prompted, which I could do, but I think it'd be much better coming from you." And sure enough, she prompted and the pre-work came rolling in, and mission accomplished. - [Brian] Yep. I think it's just a matter of some people being humble enough to say, "It's okay if the message doesn't come from me. I'll have my time, right? If I do things right and I help the corporation move the agenda forward, I'll get my praise. I'll be that one who's looked on for the promotion. I will eventually probably be in that position where I'm the one doing the messaging." But develop your skill at creating the message, but allow the right person to bring that message forward.