Create a productive relationship with your boss

- Whether or not you have a good relationship with your boss is more in your control than you might think. This is a relationship that requires work to cultivate, and it's on you to make that happen. I have some tips to help you manage this relationship, but first I want to point out why this is so important. You and your boss have an interdependent relationship. You need them to do your work, and they also depend on you. Each of you has information the other person needs. And when each of you succeeds you both benefit. This may also be true when things don't go well. So, here are some tips to help you manage this relationship. First, use the platinum rule for communication and your actions. The platinum rule is to treat people how they want to be treated, rather than how you want to be treated. In his seminal book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People", Dale Carnegie famously wrote, "personally I'm fond of strawberries and cream, "but I have found that for some strange reason, " fish prefer worms. "So when I went fishing, I didn't think about what I wanted. "I thought about what they wanted." We're much more effective with our bosses if we communicate and treat them how they want to be treated. Number two, define what you expect from your boss. Tell your boss specifically what you need and what, so that you can be more successful in your role. If you want to touch base on a regular basis, say that. Or, if you need space to complete a project make sure you let your boss know that. This person needs to know how to best support you. And you can take the guess work out of that if you simply articulate what you need. Number three, offer to help. This may seem intuitive, but I often hear from middle managers that they don't want to overstep so they don't offer to get involved with things that are outside of their immediate purview. In that case, you're missing a golden opportunity. If you see your boss is under pressure to complete something ask if you can help. This gives you an opportunity to expand your skillset and your sphere of influence in the organization. You may also get a chance to interact with new areas of the business. At a minimum, your stepping up and doing your boss a favor. We know from the law of reciprocity that this increases the likelihood you'll get help when you need it. Number four, accept compliments when you step up. The research in this area shows that how you respond to praise when you've given a favor can impact how likely people are to reciprocate a favor when it's their turn. So, when your boss thanks you for stepping up and producing stellar work, you don't want to downplay your accomplishment. Instead, you want to hint at reciprocity. Say something like, it was my pleasure to help. I know you'd do the same for me when I'm in a bind. That simple rephrase increases the chances you'll get the help you need when it's your turn for a favor. There's a delicate balance when offering your boss assistance, but don't shy away from it. Taking on more valued assignments can be career mobilizing.