Create a connection: The "my why" story

- [Instructor] In part three of the science of sales, we will discuss the ultimate customer-engagement model. This first lesson is about step one in the model, creating connection. Let me be clear. Because we now have a better understanding of how the human brain builds trust, we know that creating a genuine connection is critical to our success and will speed up our ability to help the customer solve their problem. Many of you are probably familiar with the term rapport building, and I'm sure when the phrase was coined decades ago as part of a large sales engagement strategy, it was novel and useful. Unfortunately in today's world, it's become way too cliche for my taste. What we are looking for is a connection based on similar, universal human beliefs, not just superficial, external interests. See, if you and I believe similar things about life, we are much more likely to make a natural connection. So how do we do that? It's called the my why story. It's a 90-second to two and a half minute story that you will use to introduce yourself. It does several things, not least of which shows humility, vulnerability, while at the same time, provides your listener with a road map of what you'd like them to tell you in return. Let's see how this looks in practice. Hey great, thanks for the tour, Larry. This is a really cool place, and you know, before we get any further into kind of why we decided to meet, I'm going to tell you why I do what I do and I would love to hear more about why you do what you do. So I was raised on a 100-acre farm in north central Ohio. In fact, my papaw took his life savings as a boy in Kentucky and bought that 100-acre farm. And I lived on one end and he lived on the other, and he was my mentor, my coach, and my guide, and in fact, I was always attached to his hip. When my mom didn't know where to find me, she really didn't need to look any further than probably in the front field, standing between his legs, learn how to drive our John Deere tractor maybe out in the white barn tending to the farm animals. He was this amazing communicator and connector and a mentor for me. And he taught me things, I think, still today guide who I am. One of the things was hard work and perseverance. See, he believed that if you work hard, you will eventually accomplish your goals and even if you miss by a little bit, the journey to doing so was worth the work. He also believed that with enough creativity and ingenuity and in our case, maybe some duct tape, you could solve any problem. He said problem solvers rule the world and he kind of raised me to believe that same thing. He also believed the platinum rule. In our family, what the platinum rule meant was that you treat other people better than they expect to be treated, and he would show me that in little ways, like we'd borrow old man Kraus's red truck down the road and it seemed like it was always on empty, but he always returned it, guess how? Full. The last thing that he taught me was that family matters more than anything else. Long after your colleagues and peers are gone, your family's what's left so you probably should treat them accordingly. Now unfortunately for me, in junior high, he passed away of lung cancer. At the time, I was devastated. I thought all I inherited was the American flag off his casket and his .22 rifle, but as I look back on it as a grown man now, what I really inherited were those beliefs. That's really what guides me today and why I do what I do. How about you? Tell me why you do what you do. How did that story make you feel about me? It's intentionally structured to make the hero and focal point of the story my papaw, not me. Also, it clearly communicates my beliefs which I got from him and does so with plenty of visual imagery and emotion. Now it's your turn to build your own. Think of the person in your life who's had the biggest impact on who you are today and what you believe. Now work backwards and describe how you learned those beliefs from that person. They need to be universal beliefs, not lightning rod beliefs like politics or religion. There's nothing wrong with those beliefs. It's just that they tend to polarize people. When you describe what you believe through the lens of the person who taught you and you do so with plenty of visuals and emotion, you become instantly relatable and connecting. Give it a shot. You'll be amazed at not only how engaged your customer is, but how much of their story they will immediately share with you. It's a very powerful connecting tool. If you need help, feel free to jump on my website, braintrust101.com, and check out the my why story tool.