From the course: Listen to Lead
Closing the conversation
- I had a coaching client once whose team had a really odd thing to say about him. They said that when they were with him, they felt like he was really listening, but that after the fact, it was clear he was not. This highlights the fact that just participating actively in the conversation isn't enough to be a truly great listener. There's a few other things you must do to make sure your team feels that you're listening to them and to ensure that you are. When you reach the end of the conversation, make sure both you and the other person remember what you agreed on. If you're conversing with a group of people, make sure everyone is on the same page. Do a quick summary that sets tasks and responsibilities. This is vital to successful follow-up. This can be as simple as, "All right, so I'm going to do this and this, and you're going to do this and this. Does that sound right?" or "Here's what I see as the next steps. Did I miss anything?" These things make sure you're both on the same page and aligned to the next steps and who is doing what when. This does two things. It closes out the conversation, and it adds accountability so that you and the other person, or people, follow through on the plan. This takes you to the most vital part of any conversation and the entire purpose of listening. You've got to do what you said you will do. That's what it means to be trustworthy. If you said that you were going to do something, if you said you were going to have something done by a certain date, then make sure you do it. If you agree to something and then do the exact opposite, you're going to create mistrust. Make sure that what you say in a conversation is what you actually do. That's not to say you can't change your mind or take a different path, but you better make sure that you're communicating with them about why. Have another conversation and start the process again. The last piece of this puzzle is to be sure to set up follow-up and check-ins. It's another layer of accountability, and this is particularly important when you weren't able to find closure in the current conversation. So put these steps in place to make sure that even after the conversation, your team feels listened to. I want you to avoid the problem my client experienced. If you're a good listener, let people know by following through with your agreements and your commitments. That's the sign of a good listener and a great leader.
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