From the course: Writing in Plain Language

Avoid noun strings and smothered verbs

From the course: Writing in Plain Language

Avoid noun strings and smothered verbs

- If you're going to become a first class plain language writer, you have to become an anti-wordiness crusader. You must not tolerate any wording that makes sentences bloated. So let's take a look at two bad writing habits that make your sentences longer and harder to read. Fix these two problems and you'll take a huge burden off your reader. The first habit to break is writing sentences that have noun strings. What's a noun string? It's a series of consecutive nouns where all the nouns but the last one function as adjectives. Confusing, right? Well let's take a look at an example. The committee met to discuss the draft immigrant tenant rights protection regulations. While this sentence is grammatically correct, it's really hard to read because all the nouns before regulations are actually functioning as adjectives. The words draft, immigrant, rights, and protection all describe regulations, but the reader can get lost in the shift from nouns working as adjectives to the final nouns which is, well, working as a noun. There are two ways to fix a noun string. One is by breaking up the string by using prepositions or articles such as to and for. For example, the committee met to discuss draft regulations to improve protection for immigrant tenant rights. When I break up the nouns string with the prepositions to and for, it gets a little longer, but it's much easier to read. Even someone new to the topic will understand the revised version. The other way to fix a noun string is to convert some of the nouns into verbs. Let's go back to the original sentence. Now I'll convert the noun protection to the verb would protect. Better, right? The second bad sentence habit to break is smothered verbs. A very dramatic term for a mundane bad writing habit. The term refers to smothering a verb by turning it into a noun. When you smother a verb this way, you then need to use a helping verb to express action which makes your sentence longer and duller. Here's an example of a sentence with a smothered verb. In this sentence the writer has smothered the verb suggest by using it in its noun form, suggestion. That's forced the writer to choose the dull verb is. Here's a much better version of the sentence in which the verb suggest has been unsmothered. The revised version is shorter and the verb suggest gives the sentence energy. How can you recognize verbs in the smothered noun form? One way is to look for these endings. So, for example, inform is the verb form of information. Agree is the verb form of agreement. Prefer is the verb form of preference. So in this sentence, information is the smothered form of the verb inform. And this one is improved by using the verb. In this sentence, the verb agree is smothered. And again, change the way we use the verb form of the word and it's a better sentence. I've put together a handout for you so you can practice editing noun strings and smothered verbs. Download a copy from the exercise files. If you're going to become a first class plain language writer and an anti-wordiness crusader, break the habit of noun strings and unsmother your verbs. Your readers will appreciate it.

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