How to cultivate more patience

- I privately coach a handful of leaders. They've learned that there's a phrase that I'm going to repeat to them many times. The phrase is, impatience is the enemy of success. What does that mean? It's easy to understand if you think of it in terms of gardening. Let's say I wanted to grow tomatoes in my garden. I plant the seed, I put it in the soil. I add water to it, and then I wait. I look at it, and nothing happens. So, maybe I water it the next day, and I wait.

And I look at it, and nothing happens. If I'm impatient, I might start to think, this is a waste of time. Where are the tomatoes? And if I'm really impatient, I might tear out the plants and start again with something new, something I think will grow faster. Most of us understand that it takes time and continual care and attention to grow a plant, yet when we come to our careers, when we come to our businesses, for some reason we expect fast results.

We think that watching a video like this and maybe doing a little something about it is going to immediately change things in our life. The reality is, change takes time. Improvement takes continuous effort. Achievement of big goals happens as a result of many small moments strung together. This is why it's vital for you and me to continually cultivate patience. Patience is not apathy, nor is it laziness.

Patience is the realization that when I invest time in something, will need to continue to invest time in something repeatedly over and over. I will need to work for an extended period of time before I can see the fruits of my labors. So, how can you and I cultivate more patience? It begins with using a schedule. If we want to achieve something long-term, we need to set a reasonable expectation as to when that is going to occur.

It may not be reasonable for me to expect a 25% improvement in my body fat percentage in a week. If I expect that, I'm always going to be frustrated with myself. However, it may be realistic to expect that amount of change in a year. So, I put on my calendar that is the date by which it's going to happen. And that alone helps cultivate patience, because now I have realistic expectations.

This principle of scheduling our expectations is also helpful for financial and career goals. Many people get trapped in a constant cycle of trying to get rich quick, simply because their expectations as to when their money is going to accumulate is too short. Think of a goal you have. Is your expectation for change realistic? If so, do you have the date by which that change should occur scheduled in your calendar? Next, find ways to quantify small victories.

By quantify, I mean measure with numbers. In a monetary sense, that's fairly easy. Quantification becomes more difficult with things that are abstract, yet we can still make it work. For instance, if I said that I wanted to be a more patient person in a year, I can create a scale to help me measure that. I can say, well, on a scale of zero to 10, my patience right now is at a five, and in a year I want it to be at an eight.

Then, I can gradually assess myself each month. Where is it now? Maybe it's a 5.5, maybe it's a six. Measuring progress can help you be more patient with long-term growth. Last, I can give myself regular breaks to do something fun. Never underestimate the power of having fun. In fact, that's the title of one of my books. This power comes in making time for a break for some refreshment and enjoyment.

This allows you to feel a moment of satisfaction, which on a physiological level, creates a little dopamine in your system. This is essential, because dopamine boosts your motivation, which is necessary with goals that may take a long time to achieve. Make it a priority to schedule regular recurring breaks to have fun throughout your days, weeks, months, and years. Using these tips, you can trick yourself into being a more patient person, even if it's not a trait you naturally possess.

And by becoming more patient, you will give yourself the time you need to see your efforts come to fruition.