Taking charge of your career, and your time and energy, means knowing when to say yes and when to say no. In this video, walk through the eight ways to say no and make it feel like a yes.
- How many times have you been asked to do something and your first thought was, how in the heck am I supposed to do that? Your boss asks you to shorten a deadline from six months to one month, or she asks you to take on more and more responsibility, but doesn't offer anything in return. These are difficult situations. And if you're a classic avoider or accommodator, you might think, I got to be a team player, or I'll lose any chance of promotion if I don't say yes. So I want to give you eight ways to say no that are easy on your relationships, and help you honor your time, and your commitments and values.
So let's run with the example of being asked to work on a new project. Borrowing from Chris Voss' Never Split The Difference, here's how your first no sounds. How am I supposed to do that? This question, if you ask it with curiosity, puts the burden of how back on the asker. This is especially important if you don't have enough information to say yes or no, or when you simply don't have the time. Number two is the helpful no, I love that you thought of me, and I'm unable to participate.
I'd be glad to help you find someone else. Number three is the appreciative no. I think your idea is fabulous, and I'm not able to participate at this time. Number four is saying no with a possible future yes. Yeah, I'd love to participate, but at a later date. Can you ask me again in January? Number five is no with a specific future yes. I'd love to help you with your project, and I'm on deadline until Tuesday.
Can we talk on Wednesday? Number six is no when you don't know. It sounds interesting, but I need to sleep on that. Or I need to check with my boss or partner. And number seven is a no with values. If I take on another task right now, I wouldn't be honoring my productivity commitment to my current project team. And number eight is simply a positive no.
Yeah, I'd love to participate, and I'm going to have to decline. Now here's the final tip. The biggest tool in your kit is to learn to stop talking once you've said no. You might be tempted to add little disclaimers and explanations, but don't, because it will lead to a knee-jerk, inauthentic yes before you know it.
- Identify the different types of negotiation.
- Distinguish the difference between asking and negotiation.
- List core negotiation practices.
- Explain anchoring and framing for mutual benefit.
- Describe tactical empathy.
- Explain the principles of influence.
- Create an influence plan.
- Analyze conflict styles.
- Recognize contentious negotiation tactics.