Being successful in negotiation is really about influence. In this video, learn about the six principles of influence and how they might inform—and shift—your negotiation strategy.
- Let's be completely transparent for a moment about why we negotiate. We want something we don't currently have like a car or a six figure income or a private office or maybe we want to see movie A and our partner wants to see movie B. So humans being human, we set out to convince our negotiation partners that what we want is what they should want but persuading people to see things our way is rarely a winning strategy. We might be so persuasive that we're successful in the short-term but in the long-term, using persuasion tactics alone is hard on relationships personal and professional.
So let's take a look at the body of work psychology and marketing professor Robert Cialdini calls Principles of Influence and how using them in combination with interest-based strategies might help you and your conversation partner get more of what you both want. Let's take a look at the six principles of influence. First, the principle of reciprocity is when people are motivated to return a favor or a good deed or respond to a positive action with another positive action.
Next, consistency. This is really about integrity. Once we commit to something, we have a strong drive to do what we say we're going to do. So if your boss promised you an increase in a salary by a certain date and that date's passed, reminding her about your agreement would be using the principle of consistency to get things moving. Next is social proof and this is conforming to custom or group behavior.
You're more likely to put a tip in the jar if there's already money in it or work overtime on a project if the whole team is doing the same. Next is the principle of liking and this means that people who are similar to us are more likely to be influenced by us. So if you worked on a successful project with people who are all parents of toddlers, they might be motivated to work with you in the future not only because of the success of the project but because you have something in common, toddlers.
The next principle is authority. This is our tendency to obey or believe people in positions of power like a boss or a professor but power is not just about someone's title or position. It can also be things like their expertise and influence. So if you're trying to get a promotion, building relationships with senior leaders and decision makers would be making use of the authority principle. And finally, scarcity.
Now, this is the idea that if something is in limited supply, it will create demand. We see this in advertising all the time. Buy now, supplies are limited. In the workplace, scarcity may take the form of urgency. If you're trying to get buy-in on an idea or a project, you might stress the impact that acting immediately will have on the competition or say productivity and bottom lines. So let's apply one of these principles to the working remotely on Friday example.
Let's say your boss, like you, is the parent of a toddler. Here, you can use the principle of liking to frame your ask. I know you know how hard it is to share parenting responsibilities and make good on deliverables so I'm curious, what are your thoughts about working remotely one day a week? See, for you, an essential piece of your preparation and negotiation is to think about which principle might already be operating in your relationship and if you lean on that principle in combination with all the interest-based strategies we've covered, you'll improve your chances of getting to an agreement that benefits both of you.
- Identify the different types of negotiation.
- Distinguish the difference between asking and negotiation.
- List core negotiation practices.
- Explain anchoring and framing for mutual benefit.
- Describe tactical empathy.
- Explain the principles of influence.
- Create an influence plan.
- Analyze conflict styles.
- Recognize contentious negotiation tactics.