Sandra Mitchell: Considering others breaks down barriers

(mellow music) - As a project manager, one of the things I've learned over the years, is that it's really all about how well you treat your team members. You have to make sure that you treat them with respect, you show kindness for them, and you show them that you appreciate the work that they're doing. I remember a story from when I was in the military. I was new to this hospital, I took over a new department, and I needed to get things done in the department. And I realized, little by little, that my predecessor managed to burn every single bridge that he could burn, with anybody that I needed to get help from. I found this out because I would go talk to the various people, and they would just blow me off. They'd say I'm not helping you, you're from that department, you're not getting any help. There was one gentleman in particular, that I needed to talk to, to get some information, to get something from him. At first, he was really friendly. He was just like, oh, a really nice guy, and I'm like oh, finally, somebody who's actually willing to work with me. And then he asked me what department I worked in, and soon as I told him, he said forget it, I'm not helping you. It literally was like Jekyll and Hyde, and I thought about, you know, what can I do to change his behavior, or anybody else for that matter. A few days later, I overheard him tell a colleague that he was hungry, and that he worked through lunch, and now he was trying to get something to eat. He also said that this is something that happens to him all the time, he's always working through lunch, and never gets anything to eat. I listened to that, and I really paid attention to that detail. And a few days later, I was in the cafeteria, and I picked up a banana. And then, I drop by his desk. And I looked at him, and I said hi, hope you're having a good afternoon, and I handed him the banana and said, you know, I understand you miss lunch and you might be hungry, so here's a banana. And then he just, you know, he was looking down, and then he just went, like what, he just looked at me, totally surprised that somebody, especially me I think, would offer him something, would give him something. You know, instead of him being my enemy, he became an ally. So he would tell me how to do certain things to get what I needed. One day, he came up to me and he was just like, oh, if you want to go talk to her, then bring her some chocolate. So, it was one of those things, where I was just like oh, yeah, that's really great. I started learning these little tidbits about people and what they liked. So one of the things that he taught me by giving me these little tips about bringing chocolate, or sodas, it wasn't all about me getting something from them, or getting an in, it was more about paying attention to the person that I was talking to. It was learning more about them. So, I wasn't trying to win anything from them, or pull the wool over their eyes. Literally, it was about learning more about them. When I actually paid more attention to them, and what I can do for them, than looking at myself and trying to get something for me and my department, made all the difference in the world. (mellow music)