Join Todd Dewett for an in-depth discussion in this video Owning where you are and where you want to be, part of Building Self-Confidence.
To start building your self confidence, I want you to begin by owning where you are and thinking about where you want to go. Let's start with where you are. I want you to realize that no longer moving forward can you use excuses or blaming in any way. When you look at your life, what your current title is, your responsibilities, your salary, your industry, everything, you have to say to yourself, I'm here because I deserve to be here as a result of the decisions I made. Not because of an old friend who did me wrong or a boss who wasn't that good or my parents or anyone else.
You want to build self-confidence, it starts with you. Own where you are because only when you do that can you move forward and start mentally thinking about the future you want to create. I'm going to ask you to start dreaming specifically about who you want to be in five years. I'll talk about dreaming in just a second but first, let me justify 5 years. It's a little arbitrary, but, but not much. Five years is small enough that you can get your mind around it. It doesn't feel too far away. It's also large enough that a person with the right effort can genuinely make a change in their life for the better.
Five years is good enough. Now, what are you going to dream about? I want you to think positively about the new you, the new attitude, the new title, the new salary, the new responsibilities. What are you going to be? And the reason I'm pushing this so clearly is that when people have low self-confidence, they very often overindulge in negative thinking instead of positive thinking about the outcomes to be achieved in their next several years of their career of their life. I want you to make the choice to stop overinvesting in that negative thinking.
And start investing properly in envisioning what you will be in the not too distant future. And be specific. As you start to articulate these future possible states that you wish to achieve, don't allow them to become fleeting ideas. That are here one minute and gone the next. You've gotta capture them, write them down, whether it's a pad of paper or on a computer. Make sure you securely capture them so you can go back and reflect on them and what they mean to you. That's the number one thing you have to do to start building more confidence.
Own where you are Stop investing in the negative thoughts that used to define who you are and absolutely, positively start overinvesting in envisioning future states that you wish to achieve.