How to develop mental toughness

- What makes some people tougher than others when they're under pressure? Well, there could be a small element that's inherited, but I would bet that most of mental toughness comes from your upbringing and your life so far. Your attitude is the sum of everything that's happened to you up 'til now. All your experiences. And all this experience shows in what you say to yourself, the voice inside your head, which either says "I can handle this change, "I'm a resilient kind of person who always finds " a way to make the best of situations." Or "Oh no, this is going to be awful, "what if the worst happens? "I might lose my job and never be able to get another one. "Oh, it's going to be terrible." This voice comes from all your formative experiences so far but you can control it and you can change your thought habits with a little effort. Even though the voice feels built-in and fixed, you can change from someone who worries about changes to someone who knows they can handle any changes that come along. Once you realize that it's just you talking, you can work on your internal emotions. So you start with noticing what you say to yourself and realizing that negative self-talk is not going to help. Saying it's not fair or typical of my luck and why does it always happen to me doesn't solve anything. In fact, it makes things worse because you focus on the negative things and you start to feel powerless. Soon you'll be saying there's nothing I can do and I'm doomed and then you will be because your brain will stop finding solutions because that's what you told it to do. Basically whatever you focus on becomes more likely to happen because by thinking about things, you're telling your brain to work on them and make them happen. If you visualize good future outcomes, you're telling your brain to focus on those and move you towards them which it will. And focusing on bad future possibilities, which is very easy in times of change, makes them become your direction of travel and you don't want that. Some people think that worrying is useful because it encourages you to prepare for whatever's coming up, but in fact worry is a substitute for action. It's designed to give you an excuse for when you fail. At least I worried about it. It's better to stop worrying and do something about it. I don't think it's possible to worry and plan at the same time. So you should choose planning every time. I do think it's worth thinking about risk and preparing for all possibilities, but the thing about worry is that worrying about things that you can't do anything about is futile. If you can make something less likely to happen, then do it. And if you can't, then can you at least make it less serious if it does happen. So make a plan for that too, but then stop worrying about it, you've done everything you can and now you're just wasting time and mental energy for no benefit. Some people even try to change the past in their minds at least. If only I'd seen it coming sooner. If only I hadn't turned down that other job. You can't change the past and it really is a waste of time going back over it. Learn from it if you can but then move on from it. So I think you can sum up this video by saying, "Take control of your own thought processes, "force yourself to say only positive things "about change and about everything else in your life, "and you will become a more positive person." You're thoughts are only habits and you can change those habits. Focus on the present and the future, not the past, and focus only on things that you can do something about. And by saying positive things, you push out the negative thoughts because your brain can't hold both at the same time. How good are you at this? Could you focus more on the present and the future rather than the past? What's your positive internal statement, the mantra that you repeat when worries start to creep in? Is there something that you're worry about at the moment that you could plan instead of worrying? And then could you tell yourself I'm happy about this now, I've got a plan and it's going to be fine?