Join Fred Kofman for an in-depth discussion in this video Fred and John: Moving from defeat to pride, part of Powerless to Powerful: Taking Control.
- My intuition is that there's a little bit of poison under the scar tissue, and that's why it's staying there. So even though it happened many year ago, and your words are very wise. There's still something there, something that, a lesson that you haven't fully learned yet. And it's like your soul is asking you, learn this lesson, then we'll close it fully. But, it's like... - What is it? (laughs) - What is it? Yeah, that's the thing. What is the lesson? Oh, I mean, the biggest lesson I think you've already learned, which is, it's not what they do, it's how we respond.
That's a very big lesson, and I think you've learned that. - Having the PATCO Organization not take action, - Yes. - compounded that for you. - Exactly, yes, yes. - At a very young age, and in the career at that point. How do that John? You know. - That John did the best he could. I think it's also part of the lesson, the compassion. That was good enough.
Because that John survived to become this John. You could have been broken, you were not. That's pretty good. So, I think you are being a bit harsh with yourself, because you are speaking as though that had been a shattering event. It wasn't. - No. - It was painful, - Yeah. - but you got through it. And you became the person you are now. That is worth a lot. So, there's some judgment I hear, like that John didn't do it. My God, you were dealing with some really awful situations when you are so young.
Now the organization turned out to be nonresponsive, but then you left. That's an act of power, because you are telling the story like that's an act of defeat. I always tell people, you know, your ultimate strength, (claps leg) it's here. Because you can always walk, and you did walk. Walking is not surrendering, walking is taking responsibility for your life. But you're telling the story as though walking was a defeat. For me, it's the opposite. For me, walking was the act of defiance. It's, I'm leaving.
I am not staying in a place where I'm not recognized. Yes, could you have sued, maybe, but I don't know. The act of leaving is not a retreat. The act of leaving is a gesture of defiance. You chose how to live you life, and you became who you are. That kind of pride is missing in your story. I don't hear that pride. I hear the story, and I say, I'd be proud. I see a defiant man saying I did the right thing, and then I left.
- Yeah. - And here I am. - Thank you. It's funny. (laughs) It's funny, you know, 'cause you could see that clarity, right. I feel like we've just been able to filter out things better for me. Thank you.