Join Fred Kofman for an in-depth discussion in this video Fred and Angeli: Explaining your reasoning, part of Fred Kofman on Managing Conflict.
- To refer back to the case with Angeli. In some moment, she was arguing about, "Well are we, are we going to do this alphabetically or chronologically, or do you wand to have a pile or not?" And notice how things changed when instead of saying, "Oh it's wrong to have it alphabetically," she said "Well, what if?" well, actually I said it. What if I have to work with your pile and I don't know what to do with it? That's my concern. And that was very disarming.
It was the same content, but it was very disarming. Let's see how that played out in the case. Now I have a presumption that when you're counting the time that it takes... - [Angeli] Mmhmm. - You're only counting the time that it takes you. But, you know, sometimes you go on vacation. Sometimes you're sick. You have no idea the time it takes me. Because I don't know, I can't keep it in mind. - [Angeli] Mmhmm. - So without even getting into whether it's a good trade off for you, I'll tell you, it drives me crazy just the fear that you may be sick and I have to deal with your pile and not knowing where things are.
I'm really scared because I can't manage your caseload even for a day, because I don't know. I mean, even if you can because you know I can't. So what do we do about that? - [Angeli] Mmhmm. - What do we do? I mean, I'm asking you what do you suggest I do because I don't want to live in fear. I don't want to be stressed. - Right. - [Fred] So? - Yeah, and I can't promise that I'm never going on vacation, that I'm never getting sick, right? - Totally. I don't want you to promise that. I want to be able to cover for you. - [Angeli] Right. - But I need the alphabetization for that. Otherwise, it's not tenable for me.
Would you help me with that? Even if it's not totally perfect for you, but if it's close, that would bring it over the edge because it's really important for me. - Right. - And also for you, because then I'm happy to see you go on vacation and I'm relaxed. Even if you need to take a day off, I can cover for you. - Yeah.
This course is the first in a series with LinkedIn Influencers, a select group of highly influential entrepreneurs, creative thinkers, global leaders, and policy makers chosen to share their thoughts with LinkedIn members. Keep the conversation going. Share these ideas with your own friends and followers.
- Review the important elements of Angeli’s story.
- Examine how to listen in a disarming way.
- Recognize the techniques to use while speaking so that you are understood.
- Explore how to negotiate on the interests.
- Determine the elements of making a commitment.
- Explore the components of coming up with an alternative to a negotiated agreement.