Escalating from the one-off to the habit

- Now, with any assertiveness situation,…you've always got two levels you can choose between.…There's confronting the one-off,…and then, if that doesn't work after…you've done it several times,…you can confront them with their habit.…You can go from the one-off to the habit.…An example of this,…my son has a friend who likes to crash on the sofa…in my son's room when they get in from a night out.…And this friend doesn't ask, he just comes in,…and this is starting to irritate my son,…so what should he do?…Well, he should try the one-off two or three times first.…

He should say something like,…"It's not convenient for you to stay here tonight."…Or, "Is it okay if you don't crash on my sofa this time?"…But then, if he has to,…he could maybe go up a level and point out the habit,…and you could say something like,…"You quite often come in without checking with me first,…"which sometimes gives me a problem.…"So, can we agree at the start of the evening…"how you're going to get home?"…Useful phrases for pointing out habits are,…