Discovering why assertion doesn't come naturally

- So why is not easy to be assertive?…Why does it not come naturally?…And I think the first reason for this…is that we are actually animals, really.…We still are animals,…and we have fight or flight built into us.…And what happens in a stressful situation…is that chemicals like adrenaline…pump into our bloodstream,…and the objective of those chemicals…is to help us run away or put up a stronger fight.…But running away and fighting harder…are not really appropriate…responses to most work situations.…

Now animals only have these two choices: fight or flight.…But we have third one,…which is to talk calmly about an outcome…that can work for both parties.…And this is really the essence of assertiveness.…Not being aggressive.…Not being too submissive.…But calmly working out an acceptable outcome for all.…I'll give you an example of how easy it is…to get into a fight or flight situation,…and also how ineffective it is.…I was going on a cycle ride.…It was about 20 miles.…And after the first mile, we went past a house.…

And this German Shepherd Alsatian dog…