Join Jeff Bloomfield for an in-depth discussion in this video Create connection: The "my why" story, part of The Science of Sales.
- So, we know by now that people buy from people they trust. In part three of The Science of Sales we will discuss the Ultimate Customer-Engagement Model. This first lesson is about step one in the model: creating connection. Let me be clear, because we now have a better understanding of how the human brain builds trust we know that creating a genuine connection is critical to our success and will speed up our ability to help the customer solve their problem. Many of you are probably familiar with the term Rapport Building.
And I'm sure when the phrase was coined decades ago as part of a large sales engagement strategy it was novel and useful. Unfortunately, in today's world it's become way too cliche for my taste. When I hear that phrase, I fully expect someone to start looking around my office, picking out items on the wall, such as a golf picture, and say, "So, you play golf? I play golf too." Or, "I see you like boating. I love to boat as well." This attempt at connection is superficial at best and transparently cheesy at worst.
What we are looking for is a connection based on similar universal human beliefs. Not too superficial external interests. See, if you and believe similar things about life we are much likely to make a natural connection. So, how do we do that? It's called the My Why story. It's a 90 second to 2 and a half minute story that you will use to introduce yourself. It does several things, not least of which shows humility, vulnerability, while at the same time provides your listener with a road map of what you'd like them to tell you in return.
Let's see how this looks in practice. - Hey great, thanks for the tour, Larry. This is a really cool place. And you know, before we get any further in to kinda why we decided to meet. I'm gonna tell you why I do what I do and I'd like to hear more about why you do what you do. So, I was raised on a hundred acre farm in north-central Ohio. In fact, my Papaw took his life savings as a boy in Kentucky and bought that hundred acre farm, and I lived one end and he lived on the other. And he was mentor, my coach, my guide. In fact, I was always attached to his hip and my mom didn't know where to find me she really didn't need to look any further than probably in the front field, standing in between his legs, learning how to drive our John Deer tractor, or maybe out in the white barn, tending to the farm animals.
He was this amazing communicator and connector, and a mentor for me. And he taught me things I think still today guide who I am. One of the things was hard work and perseverance. See, he believed that if you work hard you'll eventually accomplish your goals, and even if you miss by a little bit the journey to doing so was worth the work. He also believed that with enough creativity and ingenuity, and in our case, maybe some duck tape, that you can solve any problem. He said problem solvers rule the world and he kinda raised me to believe that same thing. He also believed the platinum rule.
In our family, what the platinum rule meant was he treated other people better than they expected to be treated and he would show me that in little ways. Like we'd borrow old man Cross's red truck down the road and it seemed like he was always on empty but he always returned it, and guess how? Full. The last thing he taught me was that family matters more than anything else. Long after your colleagues and peers are gone your family's what's left so you probably should treat them accordingly. Now, unfortunately for me in junior high he passed away of lung cancer. At the time I was devastated. I thought all I inherited was the American flag off his casket and his twenty two rifle, but as I look on it as a grown man now what I really inherited were those beliefs.
That's really what guides me today and I why I do what I do. How about you, tell me why you do what you do. - How did that story make you feel about me? It's intentionally structured to make the hero and focal point of the story my Papaw, not me. Also, it clearly communicates my beliefs which I got from him, and does so with plenty of visual imagery and emotion. Now, it's your turn to build your own. Think of the person in your life who's had the biggest impact on who you are today and what you believe.
Now, work backwards and describe how you learned those beliefs from that person. They need to be universal beliefs. Not lightning rod beliefs like politics or religion. There's nothing wrong with those beliefs. It's just that they tend to polarize people. When you describe what you believe through the lens of the person who taught you and you do so with plenty of visuals and emotion, you become instantly relatable and connecting. Give it a shot. You'll be amazed at not only how engaged your customer is but how much of their story they will immediately share with you.
It's a very powerful connecting tool. If you need help, feel free to jump on my website braintrust101.com, and check out the My Why story tool.
- The trust continuum and the trust matrix
- The three-layered brain and five neuro-elements
- Creating connections
- Establishing credibility
- Handling objections