Join John Ullmen for an in-depth discussion in this video Action-based gratitude and the power of thank you, part of Influencing Others.
As we conclude this course, there's one more influence tool that I want to share. Albert Schweitzer said, at times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think, with deep gratitude, of those who have lighted the flame within us. One of the things I've learned from the extraordinary influencers in my research, is that they make gratitude a habit. They not only pay forward positive influence they received, but they express gratitude genuinely and often. A great way to do it is by using what I'll call the power Thank You.
It has three parts. First, thank the person for something specific that he or she did for you. Second, acknowledge the thought and effort the person took to help you. And third, tell the person how his or her action made a difference in your life and what actions you'll take going forward because of it. I want you to have this experience right away and see what an impactful habit it is to develop. Do it for one of your role model influencers by tomorrow. It only takes a couple minutes and the research on gratitude shows that it only takes two minutes of being in an appreciative state to change your brain chemistry enough to have a measurable, positive effect for the entire day.
You win before you even send the note. And it gets much better from there. The power Thank You automatically rekindles that inspiration flame Schweitzer mentions. And it will make them feel terrific too. If they're no longer with us, express your appreciation to someone who knows what it would mean to them. I did this awhile back at the 70th birthday celebration of one of the most important people in my life, and it's a memory I'll treasure forever. I heard myself saying to him, I make plenty of mistakes but every good thing I do for people has part of you in it.
Later, I wondered why I waited so long to say that. I should've done it years before and many times since. So get into the habit of connecting influence to gratitude, being grateful for who has helped you and being grateful for the opportunities that come up in work and life to help others and make things better. That's what real influence is, it has gratitude built in, and gratitude is inspiring and empowering. That's why Cicero said, gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but also the parent of all the others. It gives you access to your best, most influential self, even during challenging times.
Challenges will come, as they always do. So I want you to check your progress and stay on track. Take out your calendar and mark the date three months from now to come back and watch the course again. See where you've improved, see how the tools apply to anything that's changed in your circumstances, and see what else you'd like to add to your influence skills. Do another power Thank You at that point and hard-wire that habit of action based gratitude into your routine in work and life. Let me offer one to you. Thank you so much for visiting with me in this course, which is such a core passion of mine.
It goes all the way back to seeing each of my parents struggle with unfair treatment and set-backs when it came to influence in their lives. I'm committed. I know your time is valuable and you have lots to do. So, I appreciate the time you've invested in this topic. It helps me with my mission to multiply positive influence in the world. I didn't have a platform while my parents struggled when I was young, but I do now, thanks to the opportunity I have to reach and work with people like you. And thanks to you, I get to keep doing it. I'm deeply grateful for that. As you go forward, please count me in on your side as you honor your best role models, reach for great results, build strong relationships, and enhance your reputation as a person of powerful, positive influence.
- Name a feeling that might inhibit you from inspiration-based influence.
- Explain how to most appropriately balance short-term and long-term results.
- Assess why “pains and gains” is a powerful motivator.
- List the steps of the advice influence technique.
- Identify the first thing you do when using social proof.