Rewriting copy for a webpage

…Rewriting web copy brings some unique challenges, you…have to edit for readability, brevity and such.…And proofread of course, but you also have to edit for online readability.…Harrison, our owner of the fictional company Harrison's helmets,…hired a writer to put together copy for his homepage.…Right now the homepage is all about their flagship product, the HH1.…The copy is okay, but it's got some editing problems.…It's far to clutzy and it's a bit opaque.…I can say that because I wrote it.…

Here's a bit of it.…Protect your brains with the best bicycle helmet you can find.…The HH1 is made of unobtainium fibers…that are pressed into a sleek lightweight helmet.…The shell is super hard, resistant to cracking and compression, and because it…can be so thin and light, it can use heavier, more shock absorbing padding.…The result, a helmet that's more comfortable, safer…than any other that's ever been on the market.…Even better, the HH1 uses a new buckleless attachment system.…It's as secure as the traditional buckle, but…