Start your free trial now, and begin learning software, business and creative skills—anytime, anywhere—with video instruction from recognized industry experts.

Start Your Free Trial Now

Like and be likable


From:

Influencing Others

with John Ullmen
image
lynda.com's PMI® Program
This course qualifies for 1.25 PDUs towards maintaining PMI® certification. Learn More

Video: Like and be likable

The 15th method is, like and be likeable. This one's easy to underestimate, but the research on the persuasive force of likeability is very robust. Here's how to put it into action. First, get in the right mindset about valuing the person and having the opportunity to exercise positive influence and then show it. Demonstrate a positive attitude. Smile more that you frown. Encourage more than criticize. People respond not only to the message but the messenger, and that's you.
please wait ...
Watch the Online Video Course Influencing Others
1h 21m Appropriate for all Apr 21, 2014

Viewers: in countries Watching now:

Ever had trouble persuading someone to do something, even if it was in their best interest? Sometimes people don't budge, but thankfully you have more than rewards and penalties at your disposal. Join John Ullmen, PhD, as he explains how to influence others when you're at the "pivot point of influence," by applying 18 scientifically confirmed methods. Whether you're influencing at work or at home, you'll learn what the best influencers do before they influence, and see how to choose the best steps for your situation, and have people want to be influenced by you.

This course qualifies for 1.25 Category A professional development units (PDUs) through lynda.com, PMI Registered Education Provider #4101.

Topics include:
  • Turning objections into actions
  • Adding more impact to your ideas
  • Establishing urgency
  • Using the influence advantage checklist
  • Influencing to inspire
  • And many more....

  • The PMI Registered Education Provider logo is a registered mark of the Project Management Institute, Inc.
Subject:
Business
Author:
John Ullmen

Like and be likable

The 15th method is, like and be likeable. This one's easy to underestimate, but the research on the persuasive force of likeability is very robust. Here's how to put it into action. First, get in the right mindset about valuing the person and having the opportunity to exercise positive influence and then show it. Demonstrate a positive attitude. Smile more that you frown. Encourage more than criticize. People respond not only to the message but the messenger, and that's you. Being likable attracts.

Being unlikable repels. Don't fake it, find your version of it. Here's a great mind set tool I learned from a mentor years ago. Just before you show up for an important meeting or presentation say to yourself, I'm happy to be here and I'm happy to see you. Then act that way. You're there, after all, to advance your positive purpose. Second, look for similarities and draw attention to them. Similarities in background, experiences and values tend to have the strongest effect. Also, similarities tend to be more impactful the more rarer the commonality.

It makes sense, right? Being from the same small town is even more connecting than being from the same country. Or liking a particular singer is even more connecting than liking the same style of music. Here's another influence amplifier. When you do find similarities, look for authentic ways to use inclusive terms like we, us and our. That subtly and positively reinforces your connection. Third, look for positive qualities and highlight them in a genuine way. Don't fake it, and don't kiss up to them.

Look for something that you genuinely like. You can highlight it without being superficial by framing it as a question. For example if you admire their perseverance say, that sounds like a significant ordeal you got through, how did you manage it? Fourth, credit them with qualities specifically relevant to advancing your priorities. For example, if you expect someone to be dismissive of your perspective, you can say something like this. I've heard you're an open minded person who weighs all the facts, and then continue. That'll spark their associations with being open minded.

You bring that quality to the front of their mind, and trigger their tendency to act more consistently with that quality. This can work with children, too. You really seem to like helping your brother. That's great. It's a way of helping to reinforce for them that they actually do like helping their brother. Unfortunately, there's no influence technique yet known to humankind to make parents seem smart to their children, until they become parents. But have some empathy, they'll go through the same cycle too. Until then just credit them with other positive qualities. And more generally, keep in mind the two groups of people Oscar Wilde described when he said, some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

To increase your influence, Wilde's first group is the better place to be. Look for things you like in others and find ways to show up as likeable.

There are currently no FAQs about Influencing Others.

 
Share a link to this course

What are exercise files?

Exercise files are the same files the author uses in the course. Save time by downloading the author's files instead of setting up your own files, and learn by following along with the instructor.

Can I take this course without the exercise files?

Yes! If you decide you would like the exercise files later, you can upgrade to a premium account any time.

Become a member Download sample files See plans and pricing

Please wait... please wait ...
Upgrade to get access to exercise files.

Exercise files video

How to use exercise files.

Learn by watching, listening, and doing, Exercise files are the same files the author uses in the course, so you can download them and follow along Premium memberships include access to all exercise files in the library.


Exercise files

Exercise files video

How to use exercise files.

For additional information on downloading and using exercise files, watch our instructional video or read the instructions in the FAQ .

This course includes free exercise files, so you can practice while you watch the course. To access all the exercise files in our library, become a Premium Member.

* Estimated file size

Are you sure you want to mark all the videos in this course as unwatched?

This will not affect your course history, your reports, or your certificates of completion for this course.


Mark all as unwatched Cancel

Congratulations

You have completed Influencing Others.

Return to your organization's learning portal to continue training, or close this page.


OK

Upgrade to View Courses Offline

login

With our new Desktop App, Annual Premium Members can download courses for Internet-free viewing.

Upgrade Now

After upgrading, download Desktop App Here.

Become a member to add this course to a playlist

Join today and get unlimited access to the entire library of video courses—and create as many playlists as you like.

Get started

Already a member ?

Exercise files

Learn by watching, listening, and doing! Exercise files are the same files the author uses in the course, so you can download them and follow along. Exercise files are available with all Premium memberships. Learn more

Get started

Already a Premium member?

Exercise files video

How to use exercise files.

Ask a question

Thanks for contacting us.
You’ll hear from our Customer Service team within 24 hours.

Please enter the text shown below:

Exercise files

Access exercise files from a button right under the course name.

Mark videos as unwatched

Remove icons showing you already watched videos if you want to start over.

Control your viewing experience

Make the video wide, narrow, full-screen, or pop the player out of the page into its own window.

Interactive transcripts

Click on text in the transcript to jump to that spot in the video. As the video plays, the relevant spot in the transcript will be highlighted.

Learn more, save more. Upgrade today!

Get our Annual Premium Membership at our best savings yet.

Upgrade to our Annual Premium Membership today and get even more value from your lynda.com subscription:

“In a way, I feel like you are rooting for me. Like you are really invested in my experience, and want me to get as much out of these courses as possible this is the best place to start on your journey to learning new material.”— Nadine H.

Start your FREE 10-day trial

Begin learning software, business, and creative skills—anytime,
anywhere—with video instruction from recognized industry experts.
lynda.com provides
Unlimited access to over 4,000 courses—more than 100,000 video tutorials
Expert-led instruction
On-the-go learning. Watch from your computer, tablet, or mobile device. Switch back and forth as you choose.
Start Your FREE Trial Now
 

A trusted source for knowledge.

 

We provide training to more than 4 million people, and our members tell us that lynda.com helps them stay ahead of software updates, pick up brand-new skills, switch careers, land promotions, and explore new hobbies. What can we help you do?

Thanks for signing up.

We’ll send you a confirmation email shortly.


Sign up and receive emails about lynda.com and our online training library:

Here’s our privacy policy with more details about how we handle your information.

Keep up with news, tips, and latest courses with emails from lynda.com.

Sign up and receive emails about lynda.com and our online training library:

Here’s our privacy policy with more details about how we handle your information.

   
submit Lightbox submit clicked
Terms and conditions of use

We've updated our terms and conditions (now called terms of service).Go
Review and accept our updated terms of service.