Easy-to-follow video tutorials help you learn software, creative, and business skills.Become a member

The middle circle: Building trust in work relationships

From: Building Trust

Video: The middle circle: Building trust in work relationships

We can take the five predictors of trust and create But, even in the workplace, expertise alone is not enough.

The middle circle: Building trust in work relationships

We can take the five predictors of trust and create this abbreviated formula to apply the big five every day. Competence plus relationship divided by self interest. Our trust formula begins with competence which includes reliability. People need to know that we're experts, that we're skilled, that we know what we're doing and we're reliable enough to actually do what we know how to do. But, even in the workplace, expertise alone is not enough.

People need to like you. They will find it easier to trust you if they like you. And they'll be able to like you if you are open and honest and friendly and consistent in what you say and do. I had a surly old colleague once who used to say, I don't care if people like me as long as they respect me. Well, sadly for him, the two are not mutually exclusive. And finally, we divide the sum of our competence and likability by self-interest. The more self-interested someone is the more trust they lose.

You've probably known people who would throw you under the bus if it served their cause. Or someone who had no issue taking credit for your work. Remember, concern for others' best interest is our very definition of trust. How do you do on these three dimensions of credibility? In general, are you perceived as more of an expert? As more likeable? Or as more generous and concerned for others? Which is your weakest area? Let's go back to the situation you described in your trust building action plan.

We'll work the formula backwards. What are three specific ways you can demonstrate that you are concerned about the other person? Of course, we all have some degree of self-interest, but how do we balance that with concern for the other? Could you volunteer to do something for the other person? Can you give up something that has been yours? Can you go out of your way to tell others about an accomplishment of the person? Can you listen to your person without interrupting, and when responding just paraphrase what you heard him or her say.

Make the whole conversation about them instead of about you. Get specific. Attach dates if you can by when will you engage in these three actions, demonstrating your interest and concern for the other. Now, what about relationship? Circle or write down three activities you can do to build better relationships with the person in your action plan. Do you socialize with your person? Make small talk. Are you willing to share some of your own personal life? Not going overboard of course. We all dread that over-sharer at the office, right? Do you have a good sense of humor when the person is around? Do you smile? It's your turn, three things you can do to improve the relationship you have with your person.

Finally we turn our attention to competence. Are there ways that you can improve your skill set? Can you get some training, read a book, consult an expert? Perhaps you can broaden your understanding of the business beyond your own department. Can you work with a mentor on a new project that would help you learn across functional areas? Are you meeting all deadlines, following through on every little promise? Think of three ways you can actually become more of an expert in your field than you already are.

Let me ask you one more important question when it comes it to expertise. When was the last time you told someone about the amazing work that you do every day? If the person you are building trust with doesn't work closely with you, he or she might not even be aware of how competent you are. And while I know you don't want to come across sounding arrogant, you do have to be willing to tell your story, to share your accomplishments. How else will some people ever know how awesome you are? Watch as Ben misses a great opportunity to build his senior vice president's perception of him.

>> Hi there, Ben right? >> Yes. How you doing Miss Hansen? >> Great. What are you up to these days? >> You know, just, just the usual stuff. >> Don't let this be you. Use these golden opportunities to do a little self promotion. We've all been so inundated with messages like don't brag and don't pat yourself on the back, that we're now afraid to share legitimate successes. Imagine the competency score Ben can build for himself if this is how he handles his braggable moment.

>> Hi there, Ben, right? >> Yes, Ben Davis from human resources. How are you doing Mrs. Hanson. >> Great what are you up to these days over in HR? >> Oh, actually really busy. I just got back from an after action review of a training symposium, I set up for our sales reps. And they're grasping product knowledge 50% more than they were before and spending three less hours in training. So, you know, pretty happy about that. >> I bet. That's great. >> Yeah, I had a great time designing the training. >> Well, have a great weekend then. >> Yeah, you too. Thank you. >> At your core, you are trustworthy if you are competent, reliable, open, consistent in word and deed, and concerned about others.

Your day to day behaviors tell others that you are trustworthy. But what if someone has only just met you? How do strangers determine your trustworthiness? Let's take a look at our last circle of trust.

Show transcript

This video is part of

Image for Building Trust
Building Trust

16 video lessons · 4826 viewers

Brenda Bailey-Hughes
Author

 

Start learning today

Get unlimited access to all courses for just $25/month.

Become a member
Sometimes @lynda teaches me how to use a program and sometimes Lynda.com changes my life forever. @JosefShutter
@lynda lynda.com is an absolute life saver when it comes to learning todays software. Definitely recommend it! #higherlearning @Michael_Caraway
@lynda The best thing online! Your database of courses is great! To the mark and very helpful. Thanks! @ru22more
Got to create something yesterday I never thought I could do. #thanks @lynda @Ngventurella
I really do love @lynda as a learning platform. Never stop learning and developing, it’s probably our greatest gift as a species! @soundslikedavid
@lynda just subscribed to lynda.com all I can say its brilliant join now trust me @ButchSamurai
@lynda is an awesome resource. The membership is priceless if you take advantage of it. @diabetic_techie
One of the best decision I made this year. Buy a 1yr subscription to @lynda @cybercaptive
guys lynda.com (@lynda) is the best. So far I’ve learned Java, principles of OO programming, and now learning about MS project @lucasmitchell
Signed back up to @lynda dot com. I’ve missed it!! Proper geeking out right now! #timetolearn #geek @JayGodbold
Share a link to this course

What are exercise files?

Exercise files are the same files the author uses in the course. Save time by downloading the author's files instead of setting up your own files, and learn by following along with the instructor.

Can I take this course without the exercise files?

Yes! If you decide you would like the exercise files later, you can upgrade to a premium account any time.

Become a member Download sample files See plans and pricing

Please wait... please wait ...
Upgrade to get access to exercise files.

Exercise files video

How to use exercise files.

Learn by watching, listening, and doing, Exercise files are the same files the author uses in the course, so you can download them and follow along Premium memberships include access to all exercise files in the library.


Exercise files

Exercise files video

How to use exercise files.

For additional information on downloading and using exercise files, watch our instructional video or read the instructions in the FAQ .

This course includes free exercise files, so you can practice while you watch the course. To access all the exercise files in our library, become a Premium Member.

Join now Already a member? Log in

Are you sure you want to mark all the videos in this course as unwatched?

This will not affect your course history, your reports, or your certificates of completion for this course.


Mark all as unwatched Cancel

Congratulations

You have completed Building Trust.

Return to your organization's learning portal to continue training, or close this page.


OK
Become a member to add this course to a playlist

Join today and get unlimited access to the entire library of video courses—and create as many playlists as you like.

Get started

Already a member ?

Become a member to like this course.

Join today and get unlimited access to the entire library of video courses.

Get started

Already a member?

Exercise files

Learn by watching, listening, and doing! Exercise files are the same files the author uses in the course, so you can download them and follow along. Exercise files are available with all Premium memberships. Learn more

Get started

Already a Premium member?

Exercise files video

How to use exercise files.

Ask a question

Thanks for contacting us.
You’ll hear from our Customer Service team within 24 hours.

Please enter the text shown below:

The classic layout automatically defaults to the latest Flash Player.

To choose a different player, hold the cursor over your name at the top right of any lynda.com page and choose Site preferences from the dropdown menu.

Continue to classic layout Stay on new layout
Exercise files

Access exercise files from a button right under the course name.

Mark videos as unwatched

Remove icons showing you already watched videos if you want to start over.

Control your viewing experience

Make the video wide, narrow, full-screen, or pop the player out of the page into its own window.

Interactive transcripts

Click on text in the transcript to jump to that spot in the video. As the video plays, the relevant spot in the transcript will be highlighted.

Learn more, save more. Upgrade today!

Get our Annual Premium Membership at our best savings yet.

Upgrade to our Annual Premium Membership today and get even more value from your lynda.com subscription:

“In a way, I feel like you are rooting for me. Like you are really invested in my experience, and want me to get as much out of these courses as possible this is the best place to start on your journey to learning new material.”— Nadine H.

Thanks for signing up.

We’ll send you a confirmation email shortly.


Sign up and receive emails about lynda.com and our online training library:

Here’s our privacy policy with more details about how we handle your information.

Keep up with news, tips, and latest courses with emails from lynda.com.

Sign up and receive emails about lynda.com and our online training library:

Here’s our privacy policy with more details about how we handle your information.

   
submit Lightbox submit clicked
Terms and conditions of use

We've updated our terms and conditions (now called terms of service).Go
Review and accept our updated terms of service.