IntroductionWelcome| 00:04 | Hi, I am Lisa Gates.
| | 00:06 | In this course we're going to examine
the fundamental strategies and tactics
| | 00:10 | that will help you gain confidence and
mastery in a skill that will impact every
| | 00:15 | area of your life and work going forward.
| | 00:19 | Simply defined, negotiation is a
conversation leading to agreement.
| | 00:24 | Many of us come to the negotiation
table believing that negotiation is a
| | 00:28 | contentious process, an attempt to
persuade our bargaining partner to do
| | 00:32 | something they don't want to do, or to
convince them to stop doing something they
| | 00:37 | want to continue doing.
I will show you another better way.
| | 00:41 | A process now taught by the top
business schools in the country is called
| | 00:46 | Interest Based or Mutual Benefit Negotiation.
| | 00:49 | I'll start by distinguishing the two big strategies,
distributed bargaining, and mutual benefit negotiation.
| | 00:56 | We will follow that with the core practices of
anchoring, framing, and asking diagnostic questions.
| | 01:04 | We'll talk about how to research and
prepare, how to convene the negotiation and
| | 01:08 | set the stage and get you
pointed in the direction of agreement.
| | 01:13 | The primary goal of this course is to
help you recognize the daily opportunities
| | 01:19 | you have to negotiate, to solve
everyday issues and problems, and to increase
| | 01:24 | your value to your employer or
business, then you'll develop a repeatable
| | 01:29 | process for achieving your career
and life goals, so let's get started!
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| Getting the most out of this course| 00:00 | To get the most out of this course, I
recommend going through each video in the
| | 00:05 | order that they're presented.
| | 00:06 | You can also bookmark videos if
you like to come back to them.
| | 00:10 | Along the way you'll get worksheets,
downloads, and assignments to help you use
| | 00:15 | the tools and techniques that
are uncovered in this course.
| | 00:19 | As with anything, you'll be much more
successful if you practice what you learn
| | 00:23 | here in your daily life.
| | 00:26 | So take a look at the handout. I've
got some opening questions for you to
| | 00:30 | reflect about your negotiation
experience and what might be in your way, and
| | 00:36 | you'll see some questions for you to start noticing
the daily opportunities you have to negotiate.
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1. Preparing for a Successful NegotiationThe six steps in preparing for a successful negotiation| 00:00 | To be successful in negotiation, it's
best to walk in prepared, you can work on
| | 00:06 | the fly in minor negotiations, but
preparation gives you the information and
| | 00:11 | confidence to think on your feet and to tap your
creativity and to be at ease during your conversation.
| | 00:18 | And to do that, you're going to
need to work through several steps.
| | 00:21 | I have identified six steps to setting
the stage for a successful negotiation.
| | 00:26 | While our example will primarily be
focused on salary and career negotiations,
| | 00:32 | the same or similar steps apply to
buying a car or any major purchase or
| | 00:37 | solving a problem with a neighbor or a friend
or networking and creating business partnerships.
| | 00:44 | Step 1--and by far the most important--is
research, so do not skip it and think you can
| | 00:49 | rely on your wit and charm and wing it.
Find out what you're worth.
| | 00:54 | Do a little digging into the value of
your services in the hands of your market.
| | 00:59 | Sites like salary.com or
glassdoor.com and getraised.com,
| | 01:04 | as well as government sites,
provide salary data based on the job title,
| | 01:09 | education, time on the job,
and geographic region.
| | 01:13 | Once you've satisfied your curiosity,
determine what your bottom line is and
| | 01:19 | what you'll do if your bottom line is not met.
| | 01:22 | This is known as your BATNA, or the Best
Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement.
| | 01:28 | I also call this your
resentment insurance number.
| | 01:31 | So ask yourself: "What is the least
you will accept and still be happy?"
| | 01:37 | Now make a list of all the skills
you've mastered and the results you produce
| | 01:42 | that correspond to your upcoming negotiation.
Be prepared to sing your own praises.
| | 01:50 | Step 2 is to prioritize all the moving parts of
your negotiation, and this means you're
| | 01:54 | going to be making another list.
| | 01:56 | For job seekers, those moving parts
are not only salary and bonuses, but also
| | 02:01 | things like vacation time, health benefits,
telecommuting, or flextime options.
| | 02:09 | In step 3, map out the concessions
you're willing to make.
| | 02:13 | For anything you give up, you're going
to be asking for something in exchange,
| | 02:17 | reciprocity, if you don't, you lay the
ground for becoming a doormat, and that
| | 02:22 | is definitely a losing career strategy.
| | 02:25 | So, would you prefer a higher
starting salary in exchange for lower bonus?
| | 02:31 | Would you be willing to exchange some
vacation days if you were offered, say, more flextime?
| | 02:36 | The fourth step involves learning as much as
you can about your bargaining partners needs.
| | 02:42 | Google your potential employer, client
or partner and investigate the company's
| | 02:47 | website and social media presence,
they're doing the same to find out about you.
| | 02:52 | So, what do they say about themselves?
What do others say about them?
| | 02:57 | Your investigation also requires
learning what your bargaining partner wants to
| | 03:02 | accomplish, then prepare to talk
about how your skills, results, and
| | 03:06 | accomplishments can help
them reach their goals.
| | 03:11 | Step 5 is to determine your common
connections inside and outside the organization.
| | 03:16 | Most likely you'll be finding ways to
name drop at strategic points in your
| | 03:21 | negotiation just make sure your
connections are really credible.
| | 03:26 | The final step is to learn who the
stakeholders and decision makers are.
| | 03:31 | When you're interviewing for a job you
might be starting with the HR department,
| | 03:35 | or you might be interviewed by the
team you'll be working with, you should
| | 03:39 | clearly understand in advance
about the decision-making process.
| | 03:44 | I highly recommend doing all six
steps to give you a really solid footing.
| | 03:49 | If you spend the time up front,
it will pay off in the end.
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| Defining the two big strategies| 00:00 | Is effective negotiation about getting
what you want, or is it about everyone
| | 00:05 | getting what they want?
| | 00:06 | I'm going to define the two big
strategies to help you answer those questions.
| | 00:11 | We're talking about distributive
bargaining and interest-based bargaining.
| | 00:16 | Distributive bargaining divides up a
limited number of benefits or resources.
| | 00:21 | In other words, let's say you have six
pieces of pie. Your job would be to get
| | 00:25 | more slices than your bargaining partner.
| | 00:28 | Used as your sole strategy,
distributive bargaining is a win/lose proposition.
| | 00:33 | Somebody gets more, while the other gets less.
| | 00:35 | Interest-based bargaining is about
discovering your bargaining partner's
| | 00:39 | interest, his or her needs and preferences.
| | 00:43 | The goal of the interest-based
bargaining is to expand the pie of benefits,
| | 00:47 | attempting to satisfy as many of
your mutual interests as possible.
| | 00:52 | To illustrate the two strategies, I'll tell
you a story about two sisters and an orange.
| | 00:58 | Two little girls are arguing
about who gets the last orange.
| | 01:03 | The simple solution you might think is
to cut the orange in half and everybody
| | 01:06 | walks away happy, but mom being the
uber-problem solver asked her daughters
| | 01:12 | what they want to do with the orange.
| | 01:15 | One daughter explains she wants to eat
it, of course, while the other daughter
| | 01:19 | reveals that she wants to make
zest for a cake she's baking.
| | 01:23 | The mother's questions are key to
uncovering each of her daughter's interest or wishes.
| | 01:29 | Now she's able to put a stop to the arguing and
satisfy both of her daughters at the same time.
| | 01:35 | So notice that both strategies are employed.
| | 01:38 | The mother asks questions that help
reveal both daughters' interest and then she
| | 01:42 | distributes the orange
according to their preferences.
| | 01:46 | Most negotiations do become distributive
at some point, after you've brainstormed and
| | 01:51 | expanded that pie, you will
eventually need to distribute the resources.
| | 01:56 | The bottom line is you'll produce
better outcomes by employing both strategies.
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| Asking diagnostic questions| 00:00 | At the heart of interest-based negotiation
is a technique called diagnostic questions.
| | 00:06 | Asking diagnostic questions will
help you figure out what your bargaining
| | 00:10 | partners' interests are or
what they want out of the deal.
| | 00:14 | They are open-ended, usually starting with
words like who, what, when, where, or why,
| | 00:20 | or phrases like, "Tell me more about X, Y, and Z."
They're also used to expand a conversation.
| | 00:29 | If you were to ask your boss, "Do you think
it's possible for me to get a raise this year?"
| | 00:35 | you've created a closed-ended question,
giving your boss the chance to
| | 00:38 | answer with a simple, "No!"
| | 00:39 | But let's try a different tact on this,
this time using open-ended questions.
| | 00:46 | You might open the conversation with
questions like, "How is the restructuring
| | 00:50 | going for you personally?" or, "What do you
like about working in the new building?"
| | 00:56 | Asking open-ended questions help set
the tone and engage in things that matter
| | 01:01 | to both you and your partner.
| | 01:04 | Once you've established this connection,
get down to the subject of negotiation.
| | 01:08 | A question like, "What results do you
most want to see me produce to justify
| | 01:13 | a raise next review?"
| | 01:16 | You're aligning yourself with the
company expectations and showing yourself to
| | 01:20 | be a team player, willing to
benefit the whole organization.
| | 01:24 | Your boss will likely see that you're
interested in accomplishing group goals
| | 01:28 | and not only focused on self interest.
| | 01:32 | These types of questions are also most effective
when you run into objections or flat-out refusal.
| | 01:37 | They allow you to dig a little deeper and
create an atmosphere of mutual problem-solving.
| | 01:44 | In the absence of facts and information,
we tend to mind read and make the
| | 01:49 | assumptions, or worse, we try to convince
people to do something they don't want to do.
| | 01:54 | Asking diagnostic questions
helps you gain clarity and guide the
| | 01:59 | conversation toward agreement.
| | 02:00 | To help you master this, take a look in your
exercise files for a list of diagnostic questions.
| | 02:07 | See it as a cheat sheet, and if you get
stuck remember the Ws, who, what, when,
| | 02:13 | where, and why, and see what follows.
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| Exploring conflict resolution styles| 00:00 | Sometimes we enter into a negotiation
feeling like we're at a disadvantage.
| | 00:05 | Our bargaining partner may want more
than we can give, or we fear that what we
| | 00:10 | ask for might get rejected.
| | 00:12 | It can be tough in these negotiations,
especially since some bargainers perceive
| | 00:17 | all negotiation as conflict
instead of a conversation.
| | 00:20 | So we develop strategies for easing our fear.
| | 00:24 | These strategies are styles, or
ingrained responses to conflict; they are part
| | 00:29 | of our DNA or subconscious.
| | 00:32 | In business and in life, these
strategies can get in the way of our ability to
| | 00:36 | produce the outcomes we want in negotiation.
| | 00:40 | So let's talk about the five
strategies for dealing with conflict.
| | 00:44 | Avoidance, Suppression, Resolution,
Transformation, and Transcendence.
| | 00:50 | The first two which are really the most common
strategies, include avoidance and suppression.
| | 00:56 | So Avoidance. Let's say you've had an argument
with a friend or a co-worker; you might avoid
| | 01:02 | their calls or their emails for days
before attempting to clean things up.
| | 01:07 | Suppression is a little bit more overt.
| | 01:10 | If somebody asks you for a favor or to
talk about a sticky subject, you might
| | 01:14 | just flat-out refuse to talk about it.
| | 01:17 | The third style, Resolution, is more
conscious, a little bit more evolved.
| | 01:23 | You acknowledge the problem or the
issue, and you offer to make things right.
| | 01:28 | When we become a bit more practiced at resolving
conflict, we often lean toward transformation.
| | 01:34 | That means we use the conflict to
shift our behavior with the goal of
| | 01:38 | transforming not just the
conflict, but the relationship as well.
| | 01:43 | The final conflict style is Transcendence.
| | 01:46 | You finally move past the need to
engage in the conflict in the first place,
| | 01:51 | that is, the conflict no longer
triggers a knee-jerk reaction.
| | 01:54 | So what do you do with all this information?
| | 01:59 | Your first task is to be straight
with yourself and see how you typically
| | 02:03 | respond to conflict, turn up your awareness.
| | 02:06 | Your second task is to turn
your noticing into action.
| | 02:11 | Challenge yourself to resolve a conflict.
| | 02:14 | So over the next few days pay attention
to your typical reactions to conflict in
| | 02:19 | your relationships, both at home and at work.
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| Understanding contentious tactics| 00:00 | When we decide we want or need something,
and we set our sights on getting it,
| | 00:05 | we place ourselves in the path of
potential conflict with someone or something.
| | 00:11 | Not everyone you deal with will know
how to ask diagnostic questions or how to
| | 00:15 | brainstorm and expand a
conversation to engage in problem solving.
| | 00:20 | Instead, you're bargaining partner
may resort to contentious tactics in
| | 00:25 | an attempt to hold their ground or keep as
many of the pieces of the pie as possible.
| | 00:30 | It's important for you to learn and
recognize these tactics, so you can either
| | 00:35 | disengage, meet fire with
fire, or change the game.
| | 00:40 | A sampling of the contentious tactics
are ingratiation, promises, shaming, and
| | 00:46 | persuasive argumentation, all of these
tactics are attempts to manipulate your
| | 00:52 | bargaining partner, and here is
what they look like in action.
| | 00:56 | Ingratiation is getting what we want
through charm or flattery or just because
| | 01:01 | we're so darn likable.
| | 01:03 | In truth, this is a useful tactic and
most appreciated when it's authentic.
| | 01:09 | Promises is getting what you want
now by agreeing to do something later.
| | 01:14 | Again, this is a useful tactic,
especially when it's employed for mutual gain,
| | 01:19 | as opposed to a power-play.
| | 01:21 | Shaming is much more common
than we'd all like to admit.
| | 01:26 | This tactic is expressing shock or
disapproval about somebody's behavior,
| | 01:30 | usually on moral grounds.
| | 01:32 | Persuasive argumentation is the use of
logic and reason to change somebody's
| | 01:37 | behavior or position, or to prove how
you're right and they're wrong, or to
| | 01:43 | lower their expectations.
| | 01:45 | So do you disengage, meet fire
with fire, or change the game?
| | 01:50 | If you are in harm's way, disengage.
| | 01:54 | For everything else, remember, every
accusation is a cry for help, so here are a
| | 01:59 | few ways to navigate contentious
tactics and bring your leadership to bear.
| | 02:05 | Focus on the problem, not the person.
| | 02:08 | Not only will you avoid blame and
insults, you will demonstrate how skilled
| | 02:12 | and valuable you are.
Reflect what you hear.
| | 02:17 | Like active listening, paraphrase what's been said but
let your conversation partner know the impact of their words.
| | 02:24 | Again, use diagnostic questions and
brainstorm to help return to cooperation.
| | 02:30 | Name the problem. After reflecting
your partner's opinion or perspective,
| | 02:35 | identify the underlying issue.
| | 02:37 | Doing this often defuses the tension
and brings people back to cooperation.
| | 02:43 | Most of the contentious tactics are not
inherently good or bad, they're survival
| | 02:48 | tactics, and we've been
using them for millions of years.
| | 02:52 | By recognizing them as they're
happening, you'll be better prepared to pause,
| | 02:56 | slow things down, and depersonalize
the situation, then you can make more
| | 03:02 | collaborative choices in the moment.
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2. How to NegotiateOpening the negotiation| 00:00 | All right, you've done your research,
and you know what you want and what you're
| | 00:04 | worth in the hands of your market.
| | 00:06 | You are now prepared to sit down with your
bargaining partner and make something happen.
| | 00:12 | To start a solid negotiation, you
should establish a connection with
| | 00:15 | your partner, engage in active
listening and frame your opening
| | 00:20 | requests as a benefit.
| | 00:21 | Establishing connection and trust
is primarily a matter of Smalltalk.
| | 00:27 | People often make the mistake of
cutting to the chase in an effort to appear
| | 00:30 | business-like and conscious of time constraints.
| | 00:34 | But research shows when you take the
time to break the ice by talking about the
| | 00:38 | kids or new cars or how they like
their new office, it releases the feel-good
| | 00:43 | bonding hormone oxytocin.
| | 00:46 | In fact, research also shows that
negotiations taking place over coffee or a
| | 00:51 | meal produced much more favorable outcomes.
| | 00:54 | So break bread with your bargaining partner
and do not underestimate the power of small talk.
| | 01:01 | Next, practice active listening.
| | 01:03 | Let your bargaining partner know you
understand their perspectives and issues.
| | 01:08 | This involves paraphrasing key
points throughout the conversation.
| | 01:12 | When using active listening skills,
you're learning what's working and what's
| | 01:17 | not working for your bargaining
partner, so paraphrase what you hear and
| | 01:21 | continue to ask diagnostic questions.
| | 01:24 | What's happening here is you're
attempting to expand that pie of possibilities
| | 01:29 | and gather as much information as possible in
order to dovetail your offer with their needs.
| | 01:36 | Once you've established that connection
and listened to your partner, your next
| | 01:40 | step is to frame your opening offer or request.
| | 01:44 | You want to position this as a benefit
to them to let them know how you can help
| | 01:48 | them solve a problem or fill an expressed need.
| | 01:52 | This involves addressing each of the
issues and goals by explaining how your
| | 01:57 | services or your skills will
help them accomplish those goals.
| | 02:01 | So establish a connection, use
active listening skills, and frame your
| | 02:07 | request as a benefit.
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| Framing| 00:00 | Framing is an elegant communication tool.
It's the skill of creating
| | 00:05 | perspective so that a decision can be made.
| | 00:07 | So here is how it works.
| | 00:09 | If you're negotiating with a potential
client, and you learn how dissatisfied
| | 00:14 | they were about meeting project
deadlines with a former consultant, you have an
| | 00:18 | opportunity to frame your
services in a new light.
| | 00:22 | You can tell them how you've come in
under budget or ahead of schedule, you can
| | 00:26 | offer to put them in touch with clients
for whom you've done similar work, and
| | 00:31 | you can finish by offering a
starting number for the project.
| | 00:35 | By doing this, you frame the request
around time, budget, and reputation as
| | 00:40 | benefits to your bargaining
partner, while also anchoring the
| | 00:44 | monetary value within it.
| | 00:47 | Framing not only focuses attention, it
also influences judgments, it organizes a
| | 00:53 | person's thoughts around a specific
category or outcome, and people tend to
| | 00:58 | create responses to fit the frame.
| | 01:01 | A question is innocuous as "How tall is he?"
frames that response in terms of height.
| | 01:08 | Research shows that people give
higher numbers when asked how tall or large
| | 01:12 | someone is than they do when
asked how short or small someone is.
| | 01:17 | Many negotiations look and sound
like contests between right and wrong.
| | 01:22 | It's critical that you learn to
frame and reframe the subject to have a
| | 01:26 | conversation in a way that encourages
people to move from competition to collaboration.
| | 01:33 | I'll give you a few reliable ways to
reframe negotiations that are heading south.
| | 01:39 | When you're in the middle of a
conversation that's becoming adversarial, shift
| | 01:43 | the focus from the people who are
negotiating the fight to the problem, that is
| | 01:49 | be hard on the problem and soft on the people.
| | 01:53 | If you or your bargaining partner are
stuck on being right, acknowledge that
| | 01:57 | you're on opposite sides and use
diagnostic questions to shift the focus and
| | 02:02 | find out what they really want.
| | 02:05 | If you're willing to make concessions
but your bargaining partner is not,
| | 02:09 | reframe the situation by changing the emphasis
from the roadblock to exploring other possibilities.
| | 02:17 | When somebody is stuck in the past,
encourage them to look forward to next steps.
| | 02:23 | Remind them what is done is done,
and the solution lies in what's ahead.
| | 02:28 | Now it's your turn to take a look at the exercise
files and try your hand at framing and reframing.
| | 02:35 | After reading the statements within
those files, come up with your own reframe
| | 02:39 | version that turns the conversation around.
| | 02:43 | Once you have worked through them, you'll have a good
sense of how valuable this skill is in any context.
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| Anchoring| 00:00 | One of the most powerful tools in
your negotiation toolkit is anchoring.
| | 00:06 | Anchoring is the practice of
creating a reference point around which a
| | 00:09 | negotiation will revolve.
| | 00:11 | Whoever makes the first reasonable
offer sets the anchor, and the remainder of
| | 00:16 | the negotiation will revolve around it.
For example, listing your house for
| | 00:22 | 355,900, as opposed to a round number
like 356,000 influences the buyer to make
| | 00:31 | counter offers in smaller increments.
| | 00:34 | So not only do you want to anchor
first, you want to anchor in your favor.
| | 00:38 | This means if you're a seller, you want
to anchor with a higher price; if you're
| | 00:43 | a buyer, then you want to anchor low.
| | 00:46 | You can use anchors strategically to negotiate
anything, but let's take a look at why they work.
| | 00:54 | Anything you're negotiating has
positive and negative attributes, or qualities
| | 00:59 | that suggest a higher or lower value.
| | 01:02 | So high anchors direct a person's
attention toward an item's positive
| | 01:06 | attributes, whereas low
anchors direct attention to its flaws.
| | 01:12 | If you're buying a used car, you
will likely point out features like high
| | 01:16 | mileage or damage in the upholstery. As
the seller, you might focus on perfect
| | 01:21 | mechanical maintenance and freeway miles.
| | 01:25 | Making the first offer is crucial, and
when your offer is credible and specific,
| | 01:30 | your bargaining partner will
typically adjust very little from the anchor.
| | 01:36 | Another benefit of making an
aggressive first offer is that you'll be able to
| | 01:41 | encourage more concessions
from your bargaining partner.
| | 01:44 | So let's say you offer $10,000 for a
car that lists for 15,000, then the dealer
| | 01:51 | counters with 14. You might be willing
to adjust upwards if the dealer sweetens
| | 01:56 | the pie with a couple of features
you want, or say a better interest rate.
| | 02:01 | In fact, one of the best predictors of
negotiation satisfaction is the number
| | 02:07 | and size of concessions your
bargaining partner makes in your favor.
| | 02:12 | Now just as anchors maybe used to your benefit,
they may also be deployed against you.
| | 02:20 | If you think an offer or a counter
offer or a concession might cause the
| | 02:24 | conversation to break down, remember to
ask diagnostic questions to gain clarity
| | 02:30 | and test the strength of their offer.
| | 02:32 | Then you want to paraphrase your new
understanding and assure them that with all
| | 02:37 | the moving parts, you're
confident you can come to an agreement.
| | 02:41 | Anchoring is a power tool.
| | 02:44 | By anchoring first and anchoring in your
favor, you give yourself wiggle room to
| | 02:48 | trade things of value, which in turn
will bring you closer to your bottom line.
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| Simplifying concessions and reciprocity| 00:00 | Let's make this simple. A concession
is giving away a privilege, a fact, or a
| | 00:05 | piece of your pie, and reciprocity
is asking for something in return.
| | 00:12 | Learning to negotiate is very
much like learning to improvise.
| | 00:15 | You study the fundamentals, you
practice and rehearse, and when you step on
| | 00:20 | stage, anything can happen,
because making concessions and asking for
| | 00:25 | reciprocity is for many people the
most difficult part of negotiation.
| | 00:30 | It's the one thing you don't want to
improvise in the moment, you want to plan
| | 00:35 | what you're willing to give up
and what you might want in return.
| | 00:39 | Without reciprocity, a concession is a one-way
transaction, or settling and caving into demands.
| | 00:47 | The result is the gradual whittling
away of your true interest and your
| | 00:51 | preferences and sometimes your principles.
| | 00:55 | So, if you're in a career negotiation, for example,
you need to source your values and priorities.
| | 01:02 | Is it a deal breaker if you don't get
three weeks of vacation every year,
| | 01:06 | or would you be happy with 10 days?
| | 01:09 | Do you absolutely need two days of
telecommuting per week, or would you
| | 01:13 | settle for twice a month?
| | 01:15 | These are the kinds of things you
need to think about and plan for before
| | 01:19 | you even start talking.
| | 01:22 | To help you once you sit down at the bargaining
table, here are some key points to remember.
| | 01:28 | When you ask for a concession, listen
carefully to your bargaining partner's
| | 01:32 | response and paraphrase what they've said.
| | 01:36 | Follow that up by stressing
the fairness of your proposal.
| | 01:40 | If your bargaining partner asks you
for something in return, stress your
| | 01:45 | willingness to be agreeable while also
letting them know how difficult it is.
| | 01:50 | If you get stuck or things
seem to stall, surprise, surprise!
| | 01:55 | Ask diagnostic questions to uncover the
underlying reasons and get things moving again.
| | 02:02 | If your requests are still being met
with refusal, you can do two things.
| | 02:07 | Suggest pausing to sleep on it,
or end the negotiation. Walk away.
| | 02:13 | Your bargaining partner will
sometimes capitulate in the moment or after
| | 02:17 | thinking about it overnight.
| | 02:20 | Making concessions and asking for
reciprocity is about being creative with all
| | 02:25 | the moving parts of the negotiation.
| | 02:28 | Many people think negotiation
is all about compromise.
| | 02:32 | The goal is not compromise, but
exchanging things of value to get to an
| | 02:37 | agreement everybody is happy about.
| | 02:40 | If you don't get to agreement, it could
be a good thing, because the last thing
| | 02:45 | you want is to regret the outcome.
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| Handling a lack of cooperation| 00:00 | In a perfect world, your bargaining partner is
as invested in your interests as you are in theirs.
| | 00:06 | The reality is you may often deal with
people who are argumentative and try to
| | 00:10 | win at all costs. They actually
enjoy crushing their opponent, you.
| | 00:15 | So what you do when your bargaining
partner is less than cooperative?
| | 00:20 | The variety of tactics available to
achieve your negotiation goals is nearly
| | 00:24 | infinite, so let's talk about the
strongest and most effective means of dealing
| | 00:29 | with the lack of corporation.
| | 00:32 | If you sense that your negotiation is
likely to be pretty hard ball, you might
| | 00:36 | want to prepare by crafting a side
deal first. Do your research and come to
| | 00:41 | the table with options.
| | 00:43 | Having a backup plan is not only smart,
but can give you a real advantage.
| | 00:48 | For example, if you're a consultant, and
you've just landed a contract with your top
| | 00:53 | grade, use that agreement to position
yourself at the top of the bargaining
| | 00:57 | range with your next client.
| | 00:59 | Next, do your best to match
your partner's conversation style.
| | 01:04 | As you settle into the conversation,
notice: is your bargaining partner relying
| | 01:08 | on story, technical information like
statistics, or how about cultural values?
| | 01:14 | Whatever the case, match style for style.
| | 01:18 | If you still feel at a loss, at least
acknowledge that you might be talking past
| | 01:23 | one another and ask how you
might get on the same page.
| | 01:27 | If you're still running into a road block,
remember meet fire with fire.
| | 01:33 | It may be time to set aside the
conversation and come back to it later.
| | 01:37 | In any case, be willing to out-wait
your bargaining partner, and remember, the
| | 01:43 | most powerful negotiation tactic is silence.
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ConclusionFinal thoughts| 00:00 | As you've made your way through this
course, you've probably noticed several
| | 00:04 | areas of your life and work where
you need to negotiate something.
| | 00:07 | I recommend starting with the low-hanging fruit.
| | 00:12 | Tackle the easy things first to get a feel for
the process and create a string of successes.
| | 00:18 | As you move on to bigger stakes negotiations,
remember, negotiation is like any art or sport.
| | 00:25 | In music you practice scales, in
theater you rehearse, and in baseball you
| | 00:30 | practice batting and throwing.
In other words, always come back to the basics.
| | 00:36 | If your sights are set on your next
performance review, show your measurable
| | 00:41 | results and network with those
who can influence your career.
| | 00:45 | Remember to anchor first, frame your
offer, and exchange things of value and lean
| | 00:51 | into those diagnostic questions when
you meet resistance. And never forget, the
| | 00:57 | most powerful negotiation
strategy is silence. Use it.
| | 01:02 | Also, I want you to understand that
effective negotiation is not just a set of
| | 01:07 | tools and tactics. It's really a commitment to a
principle that steers you toward collaboration.
| | 01:15 | Finally, I've provided a 12-Step
Checklist for you to print out. Hang it on your
| | 01:20 | cubicle wall, put it on your fridge, and
use it as a cheat sheet to fall back on.
| | 01:26 | Thanks for watching, and good luck
with all your future negotiations.
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Bonus Chapter: Negotiation in ActionNegotiation scenario: Flex time| 00:01 | Now that we've explored the fundamentals of
mutual benefit negotiation, we're going to
| | 00:06 | put it altogether by letting you eavesdrop
on a negotiation for flex work, between Tom
| | 00:12 | and his manager, Sarah.
| | 00:14 | As the negotiation unfolds, we'll identify
the strategies and tactics we explored in the course.
| | 00:21 | Pay special attention to how Tom takes things
slowly, how he meets resistance with brainstorming,
| | 00:27 | and stays at the table until he has
fully-framed and supported his request.
| | 00:42 | Tom: Hey! Still have a few minutes?
| | 00:44 | Sarah: Of course! Grab a chair.
| | 00:47 | Tom: Thanks! I know you've been
in and out of meetings all day.
| | 00:51 | Sarah: It never ends.
Tom: I know. No lunch?
| | 00:55 | Sarah: Oh, well, I'm trying to get out early.
My son has a class play tonight. He is going
| | 01:02 | to be a fig tree.
| | 01:03 | Tom: (laughing) Well, you have to start somewhere.
Sarah: Right.
| | 01:08 | So how is your own little one?
| | 01:10 | Tom: Olivia, oh, she is amazing.
Sarah: Aw!
| | 01:12 | Tom: Yeah, she is four weeks old tomorrow.
| | 01:14 | Sarah: Ah, congrats!
| | 01:15 | Tom: Thanks! That's
actually what I am here about.
| | 01:19 | Paternity leave was fantastic. Working flextime
for the last several weeks was--it was
| | 01:25 | just great, being able to spend
time with my wife and my daughter.
| | 01:29 | But now that I am back full-time, I am
realizing that I actually got more work done at home
| | 01:35 | than I do here.
| | 01:39 | You know, a baby cries for five minutes, but
a meeting goes on for two hours.
| | 01:42 | Sarah: (laughing) I see! So what you are saying is you
want to work flextime on a long-term basis?
| | 01:50 | Tom: What I am saying is, I think the whole
company could benefit from a flextime policy.
| | 01:55 | Sarah: Aha!
Tom: What do you think?
| | 02:02 | Sarah: Well, that's ambitious and I think it
might be fine for a start-up, but for someone
| | 02:11 | as big as us, I don't see it.
| | 02:15 | Tom: That's how I thought at first, but I
did a lot of research and I found at least
| | 02:20 | half a dozen companies--
Sarah: Tom!
| | 02:21 | Tom: --of our size or--or larger, also competitors,
who have flextime policies and they all say
| | 02:27 | the same thing; employee satisfaction goes up,
productivity goes up, and employee turnaround goes down.
| | 02:33 | Sarah: Look, that might be great for them,
but it's such a radical departure from the
| | 02:38 | way we do business. I
wouldn't even know where to start.
| | 02:43 | Tom: Well, have you seen the
Customer Service stats from when I was away?
| | 02:46 | Sarah: Yeah, I have.
| | 02:48 | Tom: And what do they say?
| | 02:49 | Sarah: Complaints were down about 10%, sales
were up about the same amount. I get it Tom.
| | 02:55 | You were more productive at home.
| | 02:57 | Tom: It wasn't just me
though. It was my whole team.
| | 03:01 | Without me here micromanaging them,
everybody got to focus on their own tasks, on their
| | 03:06 | own time, and lo and behold it turns out
that micromanaging wasn't the answer.
| | 03:12 | Sarah: Hmm.
Tom: Can I ask you another question?
| | 03:16 | Sarah: Uh-huh.
| | 03:17 | Tom: Who do you think would
benefit from a more flexible schedule?
| | 03:21 | Sarah: Well, Steve and Sally both have long
commutes. I am sure they would both love to
| | 03:26 | work from home a couple of days a week.
| | 03:28 | Tom: How about yourself? Well, I mean, if
you were able to work from home today, you'd
| | 03:34 | have been able to have a decent lunch and
you'd be able to get to your son's play without
| | 03:39 | being rushed.
| | 03:40 | Sarah: Well, that sounds great when you put
it that way, but the executive team doesn't
| | 03:47 | necessarily believe that employee
morale directly affects the bottom line.
| | 03:51 | Tom: Well, look at it this way, you
know Sheila, from my department?
| | 03:56 | Sarah: Uh-huh.
| | 03:56 | Tom: Well, she had to take two days off last
week because her kid was home from school
| | 04:00 | and she didn't have a sitter.
| | 04:02 | Now, that's two days of lost work,
because she wasn't set up to work from home.
| | 04:08 | And the thing is, is if we had known about
this ahead of time, it wouldn't have been
| | 04:11 | hard to do.
| | 04:12 | Sarah: So you are saying we just need to
have a system in place where if anybody had to
| | 04:19 | work from home, they could?
| | 04:20 | Tom: Or from anywhere.
| | 04:22 | Sarah: So it doesn't matter where they are
when they get their work done as long as it gets done.
| | 04:29 | Tom: Exactly! Results are
results. That's all that matters.
| | 04:32 | Sarah: I do see where you are coming from.
| | 04:35 | But pitching this to the executive team--
| | 04:38 | Tom: Well, just brainstorming here. It
doesn't have to be one big sweeping change all at
| | 04:44 | once. We could try one team, not even my own
team, maybe engineering, and try it out for
| | 04:51 | a few months.
| | 04:53 | Sarah: Uh-huh.
| | 04:58 | I am not a 100% with you yet.
Tom: Okay.
| | 05:01 | Well, I just sprang this on you.
| | 05:03 | Sarah: Yeah, I understand.
| | 05:04 | Tom: What do you think you would need for
me to get to that 100% commitment, not 99%, but 100%?
| | 05:12 | Sarah: Let's see, you've got a good
start with those customer service stats.
| | 05:21 | If you could make a compelling case that
benefits the bottom line and demonstrate how you plan
| | 05:27 | to maintain those numbers over
the long haul, that'd help.
| | 05:31 | Tom: I am on it.
| | 05:32 | I'll design a set of objectives,
that we can track and measure results.
| | 05:37 | Sarah: Okay.
Tom: What else?
| | 05:39 | Sarah: Well, that research you were
talking about, I'll need to see that.
| | 05:45 | And give me some examples about how your own
team can remotely do their jobs and engineering
| | 05:53 | or anybody, even the receptionist, basically
just give me the data, and if it's rock-solid,
| | 06:01 | I'll sign on.
| | 06:04 | Tom: A 100%?
Sarah: Yes, if your data is rock-solid.
| | 06:07 | Tom: All right, I think
I can make this happen.
| | 06:11 | Sarah: Okay.
| | 06:12 | Tom: And I'll go one up on you.
Sarah: Okay.
| | 06:15 | Tom: What if I were to design a pilot plan
to go along with these measurement targets
| | 06:19 | you're going to present?
| | 06:20 | Sarah: That's what I am looking for.
Tom: Okay.
| | 06:22 | And if I were to get this to you before next
Friday, would you be willing to present this
| | 06:28 | at the next executive team meeting?
| | 06:30 | Sarah: Well, if the data is good
and our proposal is tight, I would.
| | 06:36 | Tom: Excellent! I am
thrilled about this, Sarah.
| | 06:38 | Thank you so much!
| | 06:39 | Sarah: Now, you realize you
still have a long way to go?
| | 06:42 | Tom: Yeah, but I am a lot
closer than I was five minutes ago.
| | 06:45 | Sarah: (laughing) Okay. I'll be talking to you.
| | 06:49 | Tom: All right! Thank you so much!
| | 06:50 | Sarah: You're very welcome!
| | 06:52 |
| | 06:57 | So that was a great example
of how to keep a negotiation on track.
| | 07:02 | And it was great to hear Tom make his way
through the conversation with ease, and yet persistence.
| | 07:08 | Sounded like an everyday workplace conversation,
right? But everything we covered throughout
| | 07:14 | the course, from diagnostic questions, to
handling a lack of cooperation, made its way
| | 07:19 | into the negotiation
authentically due to Tom's preparation.
| | 07:25 | Watching that example may have triggered possibilities
for you to practice asking for what you want
| | 07:30 | in your workplace.
| | 07:32 | When thinking about a request you've been
wanting to make, use this conversation as
| | 07:37 | a template for reaching your goals
and finding your way to agreement.
| | 07:42 |
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